tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post1163396153636150613..comments2024-02-28T01:43:54.906-08:00Comments on Terry Tyler: ONE FOR THE ROAD ~ and another for the pavement....Terry Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-51942320459782665912018-11-27T03:12:10.836-08:002018-11-27T03:12:10.836-08:00Thanks for reading, Machel! As you can probably s...Thanks for reading, Machel! As you can probably see, I wrote this post over 5 years ago, but it is always in my 'top ten most read' - it's had about 24k views, my most read post ever. Must hit a nerve with many! Since then another one has bitten the dust - she was a friend of John and Yuvvy, in the last picture. John, Yuvvy and I used to go to her pub and have many a jolly afternoon. Now, they're all dead. So glad I got sensible in time!Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-38666204740688792312018-11-26T23:27:47.218-08:002018-11-26T23:27:47.218-08:00Hi Terry, never read this one. Great blog with tru...Hi Terry, never read this one. Great blog with truth and harsh realities. Same here, no more and now that is a long while ago. So sorry you lost friends or acquaintances you knew back then. -mAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-69410131807258613792013-06-05T14:44:15.496-07:002013-06-05T14:44:15.496-07:00Thanks for reading and commenting, Jane - as for t...Thanks for reading and commenting, Jane - as for the losses, it's just part of life, and any sadness I feel is nothing compared to the families - but thank you, anyway! xxTerry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-19297159109585068632013-06-05T11:48:08.282-07:002013-06-05T11:48:08.282-07:00Goodness, what a heartful and honest post Terry. R...Goodness, what a heartful and honest post Terry. Recent events have made me re-evaluate a little, although I've never been a huge drinker. (Well, not since my eighties party girl days!)Life is such a precious gift. Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry for all your losses.Jane Isaachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11170793644740072343noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-54941943273791476212013-06-04T01:41:35.647-07:002013-06-04T01:41:35.647-07:00Thanks for reading and commenting, Laura. Ahh, the...Thanks for reading and commenting, Laura. Ahh, they're not my losses, but those of the families, really - friends just deal with it, but families' grief is something else altogether, isn't it! xTerry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-69698895413695856362013-06-04T01:40:56.445-07:002013-06-04T01:40:56.445-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-4798205969432736362013-06-04T01:39:33.178-07:002013-06-04T01:39:33.178-07:00Thanks for the chat, too! I've read a couple ...Thanks for the chat, too! I've read a couple of Charles' books about his experiences on the waterways (I shall look into yours too, but at the moment my to-read list is too long!), I think you'd like them! x<br /><br />I know what you mean about the signs being there from an early age.... alas...!!Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-591455099611717362013-06-03T13:12:41.657-07:002013-06-03T13:12:41.657-07:00Very honest and thought provoking.Here in the USA,...Very honest and thought provoking.Here in the USA, I think we thing of alcohol related deaths involving motor vehicles. You make a lot of good points. <br /><br />I'm so very sorry for your losses. I also applaud you for making your losses matter by addressing such a subject in their honor. <br /><br />Laura Hedgecock <br />http://www.TreasureChestofMemories.com<br />http://www.Twitter.com/LauraLHedgecockL. Hedgecockhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16598322213655779747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-70037166158096928432013-06-03T07:43:24.868-07:002013-06-03T07:43:24.868-07:00Hey, thanks Terry! And thanks for the chat too! I ...Hey, thanks Terry! And thanks for the chat too! I also agree - again :-) I think you can tell quite early on which way a kid is going to. I am a parent (two lovely, very level headed daughters, both in their thirties now, and more sensible than I ever was..haha!), and I've been a step mum too, as well as being an aunt to hordes of fabulous girls. The only one I've ever been worried about is my stepson. He got into some nasty stuff at one time, but thank goodness, he's pulled through and pulled out of it now. He's almost forty now (sheesh, I feel old when I think of that!), but the signs were there when he was about six! Anyhow, thanks again, Terry, I'll look up Charles Dougherty. The name sounds familiar, so I might have seen him in your twittersphere :-)Vallypeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08309284606572565277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-34652239235185907992013-06-03T07:10:04.975-07:002013-06-03T07:10:04.975-07:00I agree (again!) - I think that the amount you are...I agree (again!) - I think that the amount you are likely to become involved in drink and mind altering substances is just something that is IN you, and most people have a cut off point where they think, yeah, that's as far as I want to go down this road... but some people's cut off point takes longer to reach, if it's reached at all. The people I knew in my youth range from those who did a little bit of partying in their twenties and then went 'straight', to those who became addicts of some sort or other and/or are now dead. I think it's the same with children; you can educate them, but the amount they experiment with drink/drugs is probably going to depend on their personality, in the long run. I'm not a parent, but I'm an aunt and I've been a step-parent, and my instincts about how far a particular child would travel down that route has usually been proved right - so far! No, I don't think you're armchair philosophising at all :) Have you come across Charles Dougherty on Twitter, or have I asked you that before? Lovely chap, he and his wife live on their boat. @clrdougherty - you'd like his blog, too!Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-11984835473655271052013-06-03T06:26:29.186-07:002013-06-03T06:26:29.186-07:00A lot of the last, I think Terry. Canalside pubs s...A lot of the last, I think Terry. Canalside pubs seem to be lovely, especially in the summer. I follow a number of narrowboating blogs (so different from boating over here), and the ones I like often focus on the food as well as the beer at these pubs - a bit like in France where boaters go from one restaurant or vineyard to the next :-) But I guess one drink can lead to the next, and the next, and the next if you have that kind of compulsive character. It's similar with drugs. When we were young, most of us smoked pot/wee/dope whatever you choose to call it, popped a few tabs and tried a few other things, but most of us also left it behind. Only a few got stuck into the heavy stuff and became addicts, but I think they'd have become addicted to either drugs or drink in any event. It might just have been in their nature. I know I'm at risk of armchair philosophising here without any real knowledge, but it seems that way :0)Vallypeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08309284606572565277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-18936344075085193102013-06-03T06:02:26.634-07:002013-06-03T06:02:26.634-07:00Ahhh, thank you! Yes, I do that too - write about...Ahhh, thank you! Yes, I do that too - write about situations that are less than amusing in a 'light' way, and invent characters who are amalgams of people I've known and products of my imagination.<br /><br />I wonder if the drinking/narrowboat thing goes together because the people who opt out of more conventional lifestyles tend to be those who are more inclined towards indulging in the pleasures of the flesh, I dunno! Or maybe it's just that sitting outside canalside pubs is just such a nice thing to do!!! :)Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-48650903880660366642013-06-03T05:47:41.143-07:002013-06-03T05:47:41.143-07:00No, Terry, I haven't, not that anyway. My newe...No, Terry, I haven't, not that anyway. My newest book (not yet out) was writing as a sort of catharsis. My way of dealing with her eccentricity is to invent a character that is partly her and partly the kind of mother she could have been but wasn't! It's fiction but rooted in a whole heap of fact. I've deliberately made it humorous too. Laughing about it all is better for me by far than brooding :-)<br /><br />Re: your feelings of darkness about staying on the boat, I can well imagine you felt very uneasy about that sort of situation. Premonition or no, drinking and boats don't go although there seems to be a lot of it about! Most narrowboaters go from one pub to the next. I'm surprised more of them don't end up in the canal.<br /><br />Thank you for liking my blog! I have really only just discovered yours and I love your humour XVallypeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08309284606572565277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-88921048981619625282013-06-03T03:20:52.473-07:002013-06-03T03:20:52.473-07:00Thank you for always reading my blogs, A! I agree...Thank you for always reading my blogs, A! I agree - when I used to go to the pub it was because I wanted a drink, yes, but more because I wanted to see friends and have a laugh. Getting pissed was always a bi-product because I would always 'get my head on' but it wasn't the purpose of going out. Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-50648897329119586302013-06-03T02:17:04.483-07:002013-06-03T02:17:04.483-07:00If I'm honest, I can't get my head round g...If I'm honest, I can't get my head round going to the pub and *having* to get slaughtered as opposed to going to the pub and having a couple of drinks. I always remember my husband asking me what was the point in going to the pub if you're not going to get p*ssed? Don't get me wrong, in my younger days I've been drunk to the point where I can't stand up but that wasn't my sole purpose for going out. <br /><br />Maybe growing up in a pub has had some subliminal effect on me.<br /><br />(I always read your blogs, I'm your blog stalker.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-60708830614314854432013-06-03T00:29:21.209-07:002013-06-03T00:29:21.209-07:00Val, thanks so much for reading and commenting - o...Val, thanks so much for reading and commenting - oddly enough, the summer before Yuvvy died, she wanted me to go and stay with her for the weekend on the boat. I had this really dark feeling, and didn't want to go, so I made up some excuse. I didn't tell anyone because I thought it sounded stupid, but I thought that if I went, knowing how raucous things could get around Yuvvy and her chap, that I would die. Always wonder if it was a sort of premonition of her death. That's another subject entirely, though!<br /><br />I think people either have the need to drink one more, and one more, and one more, and some don't - that's all it is. Luckily, the physiological state of my body seems to have made me become the latter, of late - thank goodness! I am so sorry about your mother. Have you written about it anywhere?<br /><br />I love your blog, btw! xTerry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-89637598487284593352013-06-02T21:56:09.485-07:002013-06-02T21:56:09.485-07:00Terry, my mother was an alcoholic. She ruined hers...Terry, my mother was an alcoholic. She ruined herself and alienated her family, me included. It started as that evening G&T with my dad. He never varied from having that evening G&T, but my mum ended up on a bottle a day slurped in secret, except of course the results were no secret. It was dreadful. I also like my red wine, but I am so conscious of what can happen, I am a deliberate non alcoholic. Like you, though, I can go weeks without a drink and barely notice, but I enjoy the sharing of a nice bottle of wine as much as anyone. However, living on a boat also makes you very very aware of the dangers. I have lost friends the same way as you lost Yuvvy. Thanks for this. Poignant and thought provoking.Vallypeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08309284606572565277noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-40385570454197011982013-06-02T11:56:09.228-07:002013-06-02T11:56:09.228-07:00Cheers for reading, EL! Yes, it's that pictur...Cheers for reading, EL! Yes, it's that picture of John and Yuvvy up there that really got to me - such a waste of life :(Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-59243737128756246142013-06-02T10:58:48.577-07:002013-06-02T10:58:48.577-07:00Really thought provoking post Terry. It's so s...Really thought provoking post Terry. It's so sad that so many people have had their lives cut short by drinking. I have to confess I like a drink but don't miss it if I go without. The hangovers definitely get worse with age which I think is why most people slow down or give up. E. L. Lindleynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-77703429797101426682013-06-02T05:14:23.506-07:002013-06-02T05:14:23.506-07:00Thanks for reading, GW! It's odd - in some wa...Thanks for reading, GW! It's odd - in some ways you can think, oh it's always more complicated than people think, but in other ways you can say - no, it's just the drink, that's all it is. It's a subject that fascinates me...Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-43070538563999676812013-06-02T03:41:46.819-07:002013-06-02T03:41:46.819-07:00Excellent post Terry. My grandfather and great gr...Excellent post Terry. My grandfather and great grandfather were both alcoholics and both abandoned their families, causing misery and ruin down the years. But how can I know what their lives were like? Very sorry to hear about your friends who died so young. Had no idea so many younger people must have died because of drinkgeoffrey Westhttp://www.geoffreydavidwest.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-15312527458978093652013-06-02T03:34:29.763-07:002013-06-02T03:34:29.763-07:00Jo, I agree totally. When we were young, we just ...Jo, I agree totally. When we were young, we just went out to have fun, and if that involved getting fairly drunk, so it did, but it wasn't the purpose - whereas now you see stuff on telly about groups of young girls buying bottles of spirits in order to get slaughtered even before they go out... that's all because of the easy availability and price of drink, of course. I remember about 30 years ago, going to buy a bottle of wine on a Sunday afternoon, from a corner shop. He couldn't sell it to me because it was outside licencing hours! Can you imagine that now?!! <br /><br />Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-69530314155764033852013-06-02T03:31:00.737-07:002013-06-02T03:31:00.737-07:00Indeed, Andrea - the problem with things that make...Indeed, Andrea - the problem with things that make us feel good is that they tend to be physically addictive, though, innit!! I wondered if you would read this, because I know you don't drink - thanks for doing so. I think that reaction at the wedding reception is dreadful - they wouldn't expect you to eat meat if you said you were a vegetarian, would they? It's all that, go on, everyone's got to get pissed thing.... but not doing so doesn't make you a party pooper, does it; it just makes you someone who doesn't want a drink...!Terry Tylerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15077413235902203848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-13114323694044572352013-06-02T00:48:32.048-07:002013-06-02T00:48:32.048-07:00The line between social drinking and alcoholism is...The line between social drinking and alcoholism is so fine - and so sad when booze become the end in itself and not simply the context for a fun time.<br /><br />Most of us (of a 'certain age') have had our share of hangovers - but I'm not sure we went out to get slaughtered, simply to have a good time in the context of a glass or four.<br /><br />But I worry about the young people who go out every Friday and Saturday with the sole purpose of being drunk. Some will grow up (as we have) and get homes and jobs and have to be up on Mondays; but others will have wrecked their livers long before maturity kicks in. Wish I had a magic wand for them.JOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03127111575563904349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7513470670765405287.post-60002854106072233122013-06-01T14:52:33.656-07:002013-06-01T14:52:33.656-07:00I remember being at my ex sister in law's wedd...I remember being at my ex sister in law's wedding reception and refusing champagne when the waitress brought it round. I explained I don't drink (haven't done since I was pregnant with my daughter and she's 26 this year!) She looked at me horrified and said, "But it's to toast the bride and groom!" I was shocked that she expected me to drink. I'd never experienced being expected to drink before! I just never went back to it and can't say I miss it.<br /><br />So sad that something people enjoy doing can be so problematic though. xAndreanoreply@blogger.com