Would you BUY or PASS? (2)

My contribution to Rosie Amber's weekly Friday Five Challenge!

It's an interesting exercise for writers ~ it shows the little things that can put potential readers off that click-buy! 

Anyone with a blog can join in ~ here's what you do:

IN ONLY FIVE MINUTES….

1) Go to any online book supplier

2) Randomly choose a category

3) Speed through the book covers, choose one which instantly appeals

4) Read the book bio/description, and any other details

5) If there are reviews, check out a couple

6) Make an instant decision: would you BUY or PASS?

 
You can check out others' contributions on the #FridayFiveChallenge hashtag on Twitter (click link!)  This week I chose the subject 'rock humour' (and was, ahem, delighted to discover my book FULL CIRCLE on the second page!!).  I had a five minute browse up and down, and was eventually attracted by this cover and title.

Dispatches from a Dilettante by Paul Rowson (links to book)

Analysis

I loved the cover - it makes me think of a much travelled journalist drinking a cool beer outside a rundown bar in Cuba, or similar!

Here's the blurb:

‘Dispatches from a Dilettante’ is a rampage through a chaotic career, encompassing rock music, religion, royalty and renegade kids - stretching from the Caribbean to Cambodia.
It’s a memoir on the absurdity of endeavour and a restless lifestyle spent working exceptionally hard trying to avoid it.
There are close encounters with Jimi Hendrix, the Prince of Wales, ex footballers and the current Head of the Catholic Church in England, together with bar room brawls and board room bitterness.
Whether it’s the drugs and desperation of life on a Welsh housing estate or discussions in the Gardens of Highgrove it’s a life lived whimsically, from the higher echelons of business to the gutters of Phonm Penh.
It’s about a music-loving meanderer who has never quite got over being at Woodstock.

~~~~

Hmmm.... reading between the lines I suspect that the close encounters with people like Hendrix were but fleeting, and the 'gardens of Highgrove', etc, is careful name-dropping, added to impress the potential reader.  Cynical, moi?  It all sounds a bit smug and 'oh, I'm such a hilarious and fascinating maverick'.  I have an inkling it might be much made of nothing much all the way through; the reference to 'the gutters of Phnom Penh' doesn't mean he was actually in them - and it's spelt wrong!  Actually, the more I read the blurb the more I find it a tad nauseating.  

Reviews:  Six, all glowing five stars, five of them written shortly after publication.  I got the impression (by looking at what else they've reviewed) that at least four of the reviewers are friends of the author.  I'm the first one to say that there is nothing wrong with real life friends reviewing your book if they've genuinely enjoyed it, but six five stars and nothing else at all means that either he's rubbish at marketing (fair enough), or nobody else considered it worthy of review.

Price: £5.10 ~ you're having a laugh!  At that price, perhaps it didn't sell well enough for anyone else to know if it was any good or not.

So would I buy or pass?  Pass, for sure!  Memoirs by unknown writers are all over Kindle, for a couple of our English pounds or less, and many of them are about stuff you really want to read about, not just some bloke telling you how wacky he is.

Now, I must go to #FridayFiveChallenge and read everyone else's... 

 

Would you BUY or PASS?

.... with Rosie Amber's Friday Five Challenge!

Rosie's post from last week HERE 

and Barb Taub's HERE 

You can look on the hashtag #FridayFiveChallenge for more!  And anyone can take part.

 

Rosie's Friday Five Challenge is this:

 

IN ONLY FIVE MINUTES….

1) Go to any online book supplier,

2) Randomly choose a category,

3) Speed through the book covers, choose one which has instantly appealed to your eye,

4) Read the book Bio/ Description for this book, and any other details.

5) If there are reviews, check out a couple,

6) Make an instant decision, would you BUY or PASS?

I chose 'Satire' category on Amazon... the first book that caught my eye was LEFT ON PARADISE by Kirk Adams.

Here's the blurb:

Despondent over George W. Bush’s theft of the 2000 U.S. Presidential election, Hollywood luminary Ryan Godson embarks on a journey that will do what could not be done in a country founded by Puritan fanatics, Yankee traders, and Southern slavers: he will show what it means to be … Left on Paradise.

Along with his beautiful wife, Kit Fairchild, and 100 fellow travellers, Ryan leads a coalition of environmentalists, feminists, pacifists, and progressive multiculturalists of every hue to a pristine tropical island—where they establish a State of Paradise, harvest the bounties of nature, and enjoy a tranquil repose from the strictures of life in America.

Now, the secular pilgrims of New Plymouth must strive to implement their ideals. Will their New World prove an island paradise or an unattainable pipe dream? Will progressive principles flourish or collapse in the face of internal dissent and external threats? Will their colony survive its first summer? 102 idealists must answer these questions even as they face obstacles and terrors that none of them could have imagined when they sailed west from San Francisco Bay.

Well, that REALLY appeals to me!  I am not quite sure why it's in the 'satire' category, but the subject matter is right up my street (shades of The Beach by Alex Garner, one of my favourite books, and I've read a couple of things about that particular election rig, too), and the blurb is well written and well thought out.  

Reviews?  None, but it's an American book that's only just been published, so that's not much of a surprise.  

The Price?  £3.23 which is a bit much for a Kindle book by a writer I've never heard of (I hesitate at more than £2.50, having wasted money in the past), but not excessive, especially considering the length of the book - this one is going to take some serious commitment!  I looked to see if he'd written any more to find out if they'd been well received, but the only other books by anyone called Kirk Adams are 'Top Boobs Vol 1' and 'Top Boobs Vol 2'.  I do not know if it's the same Kirk Adams, but I shall presume it isn't!  Even if it is, I shall not hold it against him (unless he looks like actor Josh Holloway).

Buy or pass?  Yes, I'd buy.  I haven't, because I have at least 20 books to read before I allow myself to get any more, but if I was browsing looking to buy, I'd give this a punt!  

Summing up: I've actually written it on my to-read list - which shows that people CAN discover your book via an Amazon browse.  The cover made me take a look, but after that it was all down to the blurb.  If the subject matter hadn't appealed, it would have been a pass.  If it had been badly written (sloppy, badly punctuated, etc), it would have been a definite pass.  Over 4 quid might have made me think twice, too.

Actor Josh Holloway.  Wouldn't mind being 'left on Paradise' with him, hur hur hur!

Book Blurbs - as hard as writing the book itself?

Book blurbs: 

a few pointers for the yet to be initiated

You're days away from publishing your new one on Amazon, and you know you've got to take that 'must write the blurb' thought out of the back of your mind and actually write the wretched thing....
 

Most people hate doing them.  I think they're harder to write than synopses.  At least a synopsis is just an account of the book; if you did précis in English at school you should know how to add the relevant and discard the irrelevant to give just an account of the pertinent points.  But a blurb is something else, isn't it?  And this, I think, is where new writers sometimes fall down.

A blurb is NOT a synopsis.  Readers don't want be told the plot.  The blurb's job is to make us want to find out.  In other words, don't copy and paste the synopsis you were thinking of sending to an agent, into the 'Product Description'.  The blurb is the interest-catcher.  It's that back cover bit you read in the library or the book shop, the couple of paragraphs that make you decide whether or not you want to open the book and look at chapter one.  I think that's the main reason novelists find them so difficult to get right - we write long fiction, not advertising copy.   

I'm not brilliant at them, but I've got better as time goes on, I think; I think we all suffer from wanting to put too much information in, deeming it necessary, when it actually isn't at all.  

Recently I read a short blurb by a friend for his new book.  One short paragraph, worded well but wasn't going to sock anyone in the eye.  The book was a crime thriller - I suggested that he simply divided the paragraph up into four lines, with spaces between them, to make it more 'punchy'.  More thrilling.  He did so immediately, and agreed that the book now looked twice as exciting.

Here are a few pointers, because I love bullet points!

• Always, always think about what would make YOU want to read the book.
• Think impact, not detail.
• I read somewhere that you shouldn't include more than four character names at the absolute maximum.  I agree with this.
• A couple of medium length paragraphs or a few very short ones are quite enough.  Any more probably won't get read, anyway.
• Don't give away the ending.  I notice this in romance books, in particular; you can sometimes guess the outcome of the book by reading the blurb.  Okay, romance is one of the most predictable genres, and this feature is one of the reasons its readers like it, but if you see something like "will Millicent choose her boring but safe life with Nigel, or head for the hills with unpredictable but devilishly attractive Raoul?",  you can bet your bottom dollar that Raoul's going to get the girl! 
• If you want to add in a couple of quotes from reviews, put them at the end, after the description.  So often, I've waded through a list of "I couldn't put it downs" looking for a tiny paragraph hidden somewhere amongst the list of glowing testimonials, to tell me what the book is actually ABOUT.  The product description bit on Amazon is where readers go to find out if they want to read the book, and this is generally dependent upon its subject matter.   If they want to read all the great things people have said before they buy, they can click on the reviews.  Yes, it doesn't hurt to include a couple of particularly neat and memorable quotes, but they shouldn't outshadow the description of the book itself.  Similarly, any personal details about you can go on your Amazon author page, which is duplicated in 'more about the author' the book's own page, anyway. 
• Make sure the blurb is error free, perfectly paced, etc etc.  I've decided not to buy a book in the past because of a dodgy comma.  If I've done so, you can bet hundreds of others will feel the same.  Run it past your proofreader if you're not confident.
• Keep 'em wanting more!  An unanswered question is always a good idea, and does not have to be posed in such an obvious way as the Raoul and co examples, ie, by asking a direct question.  You could put something like "Millicent can't make up her mind if she'd be happier dashing out into the unknown or trying to add new spark to her marriage."  (I'd go with Raoul if I was her, but that's beside the point).

Here are a couple of examples, first of two bad Amazon blurbs, and then of a good one, so you can get more of a picture of what I mean by all this.  Both are for the same book, which doesn't actually exist.  I'll call it Paradise Island (I know, I know, I'm making this up off the top of my head as I go along!).

BAD #1

"I found this book hard to put down and was up all night reading it" ~ Amy Smith, Amazon author.

"Full of twists and turns that will keep you guessing to the very end!" ~ Jackie Brown, book blogger.

"I really enjoyed this summer romance" ~ Wendy Green, avid reader. 

Paradise Island was longlisted for the Worthy Effort Book Awards, 2015. 

About the author: Angela Author lives in Stoke on Trent with husband Colin and two cats who think they run the house.  She loved writing from a young age and her drawers are stuffed full of half completed early attempts.  After completing a course in creative writing Angela decided to have a go at being an author, and Paradise Island is her debut novel.  She can be found on Twitter @AngelaAuthor, and writes a blog about her self-publishing journey.  

About the book: (note: if potential buyer hasn't stopped reading by now)

Eager to take a break from her dreary life with husband Nigel, Millicent Battersby goes to work on Paradise Island for one summer as a receptionist in a hotel.  While she is there, though, she feels a bit homesick.  However, a new group of travellers arrives and she makes friends with Pam and Lucy.  The three of them go off to discover the real life of the island outside the tourist area.  In a bar, she meets Australian travellers Guy and Luke who invite her to a party.  At the party she meets Raoul, a very handsome traveller to whom she is immediately attracted.  But Raoul is against her nine to five and steady way of life, and they argue a lot, although the attraction between them is apparent to everyone. 

Just when Millicent thinks she may abandon her life back home and head off into the hills with Raoul, who should turn up but Nigel.  He is disturbed to find her having changed her outlook on life and feels jealous of her burgeoning desire for Raoul.  To make her jealous, he begins a flirtation with Samantha, an amply bosomed blonde waitress.  Millicent is upset by this.  But Pam and Lucy tell her that she only feels upset because she thought he was so dependable, and that if she was bored with her life before then she shouldn't go back.  Meanwhile, Raoul is stepping up the pace and showing her how exciting a life with him could be.  But he will not wait forever.  Will Millicent go back home with Nigel, or head off into the unknown with Raoul?

Awful, isn't it?  Ticks every single 'wrong, wrong, wrong' box, from the gruesome, cliched  bio to the 'when are we ever going to find out what the wretched book's about?', to the synopsis-not-a-blurb....
 

BAD #2

Bored with her life and husband, Nigel, Millicent takes a summer job at Paradise Island.

Up pops mysterious adventurer Raoul, who makes her feel restless.  Despite their tempestuous arguments, they are very attracted to each other.

Suddenly Nigel arrives, wanting her to come home and trying cheap ploys to make her jealous.  She is torn between her dreary but safe life, and passionate adventure with an enigmatic new love.

Will Millicent go back home with Nigel, or head off into the unknown with Raoul? 

I think we can pretty much guess what she is going to do, don't you??

GOOD

Millicent Battersby is in a rut in her safe, steady life and marriage to Nigel.  Is she just marking time?

A summer job on Paradise Island delivers sunshine, fun and new friendships, and the prospect of adventure.  Yes, and some much missed passion and romance, too...    

Then Nigel turns up out of the blue.  His reaction to her new life is extreme, and sends her already conflicting emotions into overdrive.

Will Millicent decide that her marriage is worth saving, or head out to the road untravelled? 

Paradise Island is the absorbing debut romantic novel from Angela Author, ideal for summer beach read escapism.

 

The 'good' blurb is by no means Amazon bestseller perfect, and is not without a hackneyed phrase or two, but it's a hell of a lot better than the other ones!  Notice that Raoul is not even mentioned in this one, that a new love affair is just hinted at, as are Nigel's activities post arrival on the island.  I don't know about you, but I'd quite like to read that book; I'd be wondering about Nigel's extreme reactions, at least!  I wouldn't buy it if I'd read either of the first two blurbs, though, because I'd already know what was going to happen.

You can always try running your first blurb drafts past someone.  I showed my first one for my new book, Last Child, to my sister and she said, "Yeah, great, but lose the horrendous cliche in the second paragraph".  She was right, of course.  It's since been amended several times and will be again before publication.  This will be the tenth book I've published on Amazon; I've learned, now, that it's best to tackle the blurb during the first few drafts, and keep going back to it to revise.  As with the novel itself, if you leave it a month you are more able to see its strengths and weaknesses.

Lastly, make sure the blurb accurately portrays the feel of the book.  If it's a thriller, put questions in the reader's mind.  If it's a light, amusing book, make the blurb funny, too.  If it's especially gory, make sure you let the reader know.   

Think reader, reader, reader, all the time!