"Are you ready for Christmas?"
My father and I place bets on how early we will be asked that question, each year. I expect my first one will happen in the hairdressers on Friday. I will pretend I haven't heard it. (I'm not, by the way).
Well, then - are you? No, I don't really want to know. Every year we hear that the seasonal retail figures for 'the high street' are disappointing - especially in recent years, now that more and more people are shopping online. The shops are getting desperate - and it shows.
Where I live, the shopping centre is open air. Yesterday I walked through it, on only November 26th, to the tune of Wizzard's "I wish it could be Christmas every day". I couldn't get away from it. Look, I didn't want to hear that banal, tired song in 1973 when it came out, and I certainly haven't wanted to hear it for every one of the 40 years since. How, pray, do the shops think this will entice me in? The same goes for the clothes stores with horrible reindeer sweaters in the window, and every single emporium trying to orientate its wares towards present giving; even Wilkinsons (where you go for your cheapo kitchen cleaner and shampoo) claimed to have the perfect Christmas gifts for all the family ("a handy kitchen gadget for Mum, and don't forget that garden tool for Dad!"). A girl in a red fleece wearing reindeer antlers stood at the door trying to spray me with perfume as I walked past. I only wanted a notepad and a pack of biros.
As for the supermarkets who start pushing overpriced chocolates and packets of red candles at you as soon as you start taking-a-cardigan-with-you-because-those-late-summer-evenings-can-get-a-bit-nippy ~ don't get me started, especially not now that people moaning about it begins as early as Christmas product promotion every year, and I'm as guilty of this as everyone else. I find the whole thing so desperate and so ghastly that this year, guess what? I'm not going to go out shopping again until January. I'm going to be one of those who shops online, instead.
I think it was buying bleach and loo paper to the sound of Elton John's appalling "Step Into Christmas" that sent me over the edge...
ha ha ha - I haven't heard Step Into Christmas. Might use that on Sunday! Although I am obviously very early with Christmas this year, for obvious reasons, I think the season should start on 1st Dec. Also hate that even before Halloween there are signs of Christmas everywhere and adverts - taking the mick really!
ReplyDeleteExactly - December 1st would be fine, time enough, and make it something special, not something everyone is fed up with by the middle of November!!
DeleteTerry, your post gave me a good chuckle. It's the same here in the U.S. The goal of Christmas seems to be how much debt you can add to the credit cards you can't pay off. I live in Florida. We need sweaters maybe five days out of the year. Yet, we go shopping in November and the stores are flooded with horrible Christmas sweaters. It's 80 degrees (27 celcius) here!
ReplyDeleteAnd why don't any of the stores ever play the updated, modern Christmas rock songs? At least that might keep me in the store, rather than chase me out.
Thanks for the giggle this morning! :)
Must be horrible having all that Christmas stuff when it's warm outside!!!! At least November and December are dark and cold and dismal here!!! And yes re the better C'mas songs - or even good ones like the Greg Lake or the Kate Bush one, not these ghastly old shit ones!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt isn't 'proper' Christmas until I hear "Fairytale of New York", however, for a laugh I suggest you look on YouTube for Dominic the Donkey. Much more entertaining than Wizzard!
ReplyDelete(I'm almost ready. Presents bought, now they just need wrapping. I hate wrapping presents.)
Ah yes, I forgot about FONY when trying to think of the songs that AREN'T naff!!!! I am officially not buying one present or card until Dec 1st! xx
DeleteI'm in Christmas denial…not ready for it at all, yet, Terry - if ever! Honestly, I love all the lights and colour, but all the other commercial stuff surrounding it….no, no no! I'm not doing any shopping until I finish work on the 20th.
ReplyDeleteI would love it if there wasn't all this crap to go with it.... good idea re the shopping!
DeleteI agree 100%, Terry. I am far more likely to get into the spirit of it all if I leave my Christmas shopping as late as possible, and decorate on Christmas Eve. All the marketing hype now is ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteOne of my neighbours asked me if I was ready for Christmas yesterday, and I swept past him saying, "Yes, I am, har har." That shuts them up, I find!
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