I was talking to two Twitter friends about this yesterday, and felt compelled to put rant to blog, as it were!
Why does every single drama/crime/thriller series on television these days have to include graphic humping scenes? You never seem to get past the first 20 minutes without seeing a bare male bum thrusting up and down, or see the female character's legs wound round the male character's back, with full sound effects, complete with noisy climaxes, facial expressions, the lot. Ordinary dramas show scenes that used to be restricted to soft porn films; the only thing you can't see is the actual penetration.
Somehow it's not so bad on shows like Game Of Thrones, or Banshee (though that does get a bit OTT with it), which is fantasy, and at least the actors are, for the most part, pretty good looking, and it's artfully filmed and fairly sexy, though maybe a tad idealised - but I really, really don't want to see people like Kevin Whately on the job. Please, just don't.
Kevin, mate, you're not a bad actor, but I don't want to see you rogering the Mrs
Look, we all know that grown-ups have sex. Ordinary looking people, fat people, old people - but do we need to see it? Couldn't we just be shown them talking, afterwards?
Which brings me onto something else.
Vomiting.
If someone is throwing up, it's enough for us to see them bend over, to hear them retching. We don't need to SEE IT COMING OUT OF THEIR MOUTHS. Or the spittle round their mouths afterwards. Oh, and I don't want to see anyone taking a dump, either. Last night, in Fargo (excellent series!), we saw Billy Bob Thornton sit on the loo, and we heard the sound as - well, you know. What's next, Glorious Smell-o-Vision so we can get the full effect?
Everyone has bowel movements, snotty noses, everyone vomits, but showing it in all its glorious detail doesn't make the character or the scene more real, it's just - well, a bit revolting, really. As for the realistic sex scenes - well, most people look pretty daft when they're doing it, don't they? Porn films are carefully edited to look erotic. I just hope this current trend doesn't filter into soap operas - I badly don't want to see Owen and Anna/Gail Platt and current oddball (I lose track) having a little Saturday night slap and tickle.
Owen and Anna on Corrie - no! please no!
Yes, yes, I know, they couldn't because of the 9pm watershed - though it actually means nothing anyway, as everything is available on 'catch up'!
All comments most welcome, and please feel free to add to this!
All comments most welcome, and please feel free to add to this!
Quite! It does put one off one's fish and chips! Another 'bone' of contention, if we're discussing public media: the blogs containing nudity/graphic descriptions of sexual practices, some of which verge on the indecent/illegal that are promo'd on Twitter by their ''authors'' (I use the term euphemistically) as ''art'' or ''literary pieces''. It seems that anything goes nowadays... and those of us that object to graphic humping, scenes of puking or badly written porn are seen as puritanical whingers. ''So different from the home life of our dear Queen'' .... as they used to say in Victorian times...
ReplyDeleteI could not agree more!
DeleteMaybe I'm more British than American, regardless of what my birth certificate and passport say! ♥
Oh yes, yes yes!!!! I can't believe it, some of the blogs I've read feature stuff that's actually illegal, like incest and paedophilia - oh yes, I know those ones that claim to be 'literary pieces'. Just a load of old paedos getting their rocks off. Sick pervs!!!
ReplyDeleteMy sister says that 'So different etc' phrase quite often... one feels more inclined to use it, these days....
I so agree - I've nothing against a bit of hanky panky, but really don't need to see it just as I'm settling down with my cocoa.
ReplyDeleteAye, Jo - husband and I always say 'oh, here we go again' - I usually go and put the kettle on, waiting for the actual story to start again...!
DeleteHundred percent agree! I like all that kind of stuff left to MY imagination only (I don't even want to imagine most of it either). And...I do not wish to have it shown described or blogged to me... especially blogs about activities that are bordering on perversion, if not actually are perverted. I've just recently blocked a number of people on Twitter for RTing graphic sex photos as well…I mean, I really do not wish to see other people's privates staring me in the face when I'm just sitting down for a rest after a hard day's work…as for the vomiting, toiletry stuff…oh yuk!!! Something makes me think we all agree on this...
ReplyDeleteI wish we all did, Val!!! Yeah, I used to just RT the 'erotica' authors without thinking, until I had a look at what I was RTing - seriously disgusting, pervy stuff; I can only wonder at the sad minds of the people who choose to make Twitter profiles about them; perhaps too scared to actually join groups who DO the stuff, I don't know!!! I wish there was a facility on That aside - yes. There is no-one I can think of who I want to watch bonking someone else. I don't know if it's done for realism or is simply part of 50 Shades syndrome; I dunno!
DeleteHow odd you should mention this. I was talking to Paul about it a couple of days ago and said that everything we watch lately seems to have people gratuitously bumping uglies. It has nothing to actually offer the storyline and actually puts me off watching. For me, leaving things to the imagination is far better.
ReplyDeleteYou said it all! We both go 'Oh, God' and twiddle our thumbs until the story starts again. Thanks for reading and commenting, A! x
DeleteThis is hilarious but yes, I couldn't agree more!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading & commenting, Sam! Glad to have another in agreement!
DeletePeter Davey wrote this, but couldn't get the comment thing to work!
ReplyDeleteLove your latest blogpost, Terry. There used to be a fashion on TV where the characters would be so overcome with mutual lust they'd go into a cubicle in the nearest public loo to do it. I mean... uuugggh! The smell in those places! Hardly conducive to romance - or maybe it is, if you're weird enough. I'm sure the directors thought they were being really brave and "gritty". And then there was that cool and exclusive thing the Mile High Club which presumably involved doing it in an aircraft toilet. I mean, come on! I could never do it on an aeroplane anyway - I'm too busy praying. But I digress from your point which, seriously, is an excellent one and I totally agree with.
Brilliant! Can I agree 1000 percent! Thanks for a great blog!
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading and commenting, Stephanie, much appreciated! Perhaps I ought to send this to the BBC!
DeleteAbsolutely 100% agree with you Terry. There's such a thing as taking realism too far! Unfortunately, it seems I am alone amongst peers of my own age. I am often called prudish for not wanting to see this unnecessary 'reality' on TV. But I have found my solution... I just stopped watching TV :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's rather blissful.
The same goes for social media. As much as I want to help other authors and increase my own network of contacts, I've now drawn a line in the virtual sand. Anything too graphic and I just simply block or unfriend. I've had enough of hairy willies spoling my breakfast!!
Jo, d'you know, I don't think it is even being prudish - I'm not! I just don't want to see people shagging, I want them to get on with the story! As for twitter, when I announced that I would no longer be RTing 'erotica' (it's not, it's porn), I got a fair bit of piss-taking - but at least I am no longer getting unfollowed by people who don't want to see pervy tweets in their timeline! Thanks for reading and commenting x
DeleteWe owe it to drama (and its abuse) to witness Kevin Whately being gang banged by the inmates of Strangeways, but from a viewpoint at least a mile away and to an off key version of the Inspector Morse music. It's the least he can do, considering his acting.
ReplyDeleteJohn Thaw (as Morse) would never have indulged in sex, unless it involved an interesting discussion, before, during and after, accompanied by Bach and possibly a good claret.
Yes, I can do without 'professional Geordies', I must say. Wasn't ol' Endeavour more of a Mahler man?
DeleteReally hate the vomiting! Can't watch.
ReplyDeleteNO, nor me! Disgusting!
DeleteDoes anyone remember 'This Life'? That occasionally had sex scenes but only as to be relevant to the plot and not overdone. Why don't they make dramas like that anymore? As for vomiting, Casualty used to be the worst offender, but then, you expect it in a hospital - but then it was always horribly and unnecesarily graphic.
DeleteI used to love This Life!
DeleteIn a slight diversion what really irritates me is when sex appears somewhere it's not meant to be. Where you're sitting with your 10 year old daughter in the middle of the afternoon, having a bit of girl time, introducing her to a bit of 'culture' and you think you're going to be safe with one of the classics - a Jane Austen or Charlotte Bronte adaptation for example but no, right in the middle is a bit of gratuitous bonking that I damn well know wasn't in the book. It really seems over the top to have to preview every film before you watch it with the kids and there are some adaptations that really shouldn't be messed with.
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree a hundred per cent. Similarly, in historical dramas. We know that Edward IV shagged around on Elizabeth Woodville, we don't need to see him at it - especially not when you've sat down to watch it with your 85 year old dad!
DeleteLast Friday evening I inadvertently stood on a slug so huge as to make me wonder if it had previously summered near a nuclear reactor! This bloated, slimy beast wantonly squelched between my naked toes before ejaculating its vulgar and vile contents over and up my recently Immac'd leg....leading me to vomit profusely...for some considerable time.
ReplyDeleteEverything you've described in your post, which we are each reluctantly subjected to via our TVs, is reminiscent of this experience and whooshed me right back to that very moment of squelch-age! Mind you, I think my experience was slightly less nauseating...
Oh, my goodness, you poor thing, that would stay with me for ever.... like when a big great Dane (dog!) tried to mount me when I was about 7. It still makes me shudder in panic as it did then.
DeleteOh my goodness you poor thing. That would stay with me forever......
DeleteOh wow - you made me laugh and agree with you all in one go. The vomiting especially! And as for some erotica authors - a lot of them are fine and I'll RT them, but I nearly RTd something a few days ago about incest. I'm SO glad (in one way - not in another!!) I read a bit of what I was about to RT first (I think little alarm bells went off which made me stop!) otherwise....well....anyway, you're right. Some things on telly (and in books) really don't need to be spelled out! Most of us have good enough imaginations already!!
ReplyDeleteEmma, I got over that problem by not RTing any erotica authors anymore, except for one who's a chum and just writes straight sex, not pervy stuff! I can tell you the ones not to go near - Carol Hedges and I have them sussed out, and have blocked them, too. I won't RT any erotica in case if offends any of my followers. Nice ladies who post blogs about gardening, or pictures of cats and stuff don't want to see dildos and threesomes in their timelines!!!! I know I used to get unfollowed when I did used to RT them, because a few people told me; it didn't occur to me at the time. Now, I'm careful about what I RT!
DeleteI so agree! Nothing more guaranteed to put me off..ew. Things you don’t need to see in dramas. Hubby’s been watching House of Cards..say no more! And it doesn’t add anything to the drama.
ReplyDelete@Lynn, a million times eww, slugs are my garden nightmare