Thursday 6 December 2018

This is why I shop online


A few years ago I wrote a post about the ghastly upselling that goes on every time you nip into a chemist to buy a pack of paracetomol these days (HERE).  But it's moved on, hasn't it?  Now, in a desperate attempt to claw back trade into the high street, shop assistants must now not only try to sell you more stuff at the counters, but pretend to be super-interested in everything you're buying, probably because the marketing departments have decided that what's missing from online shopping is the personal touch.

I've ventured from home and done a bit of high street shopping in the last month or so, mostly to buy clothes and presents.  In most shops, the assistant has packed up my purchase, saying, 'This is a lovely coat/scarf/shirt, isn't it?' Or extolled the softness of my jumper/socks.  Yes, that's all very nice, but if you're waiting in a long queue, you notice that they make a similar remark to everyone, whatever they're buying.  M&S are the worst for this.  One one occasion, I was buying a not inexpensive coat.  The chap who served me pretended he loved my coat (I was waiting for it... yes... yes... 30 seconds in, he didn't fail me: 'This is a lovely coat, isn't it?'), then pointed behind him at some advent thingy he thought I might be interested in.  I said, in a jocular fashion, 'Why, am I not spending enough money here already?'  He looked at me blankly.   I imagine his instructions were something like if it's a middle-aged woman and she's spending more than ***, try to flog her one of these bloody advent thingies we can't shift.

 I think I'd prefer this!



There are two women who work on the only till left at my local Asda who also inspect and comment on my food purchases, which I actually find rude and invasive - far too familiar.  Then there's 'Enjoy the rest of your day', once the transaction has ended (Sainsburys).  Yuk.  'Thank you' or 'Goodbye' will do nicely.  Each time, I want to stop and say, 'Do you actually care if I enjoy it or not?  If you don't, and I don't expect you to, why bother to say it?'  I don't, because it would be too rude and it's not the shop assistant's fault he has to trot out this trite rubbish; he probably hates having to do so.  It's the fault of the daft marketing people who are under the impression that it has a positive effect. 

Thank you, Julia - this sketch from Caroline Aherne is sadly all too real: 




There is another, more sinister trend going on now, too.  It's this: 
'Would you like to provide your email so I can send you confirmation of your receipt?'  
Er, no.  I'm, like, holding it.  I always shop in cash, but I know most people don't, and surely if you need further confirmation (other than the piece of paper they have just given you), it's on your bank statement? 
The first time I came across this one, in New Look, the four (yes, four; I am not exaggerating) people in front of me handed over their email without hesitation.  Like they thought they had to.  

 
And here's the worst one.  Last week, at the Clinique stand in Fenwicks, I bought an eye pencil.  After we'd established what colour and type I wanted, the assistant said, 'That's lovely, all I need now are a few details so we can build a profile of your colour and product preferences and make sure you get your discount vouchers'.    

All you need now?

Do you remember when you could walk into a shop, choose the item you wanted, and leave with no more interaction than, 'That'll be £17.99, please.  Thanks.  Bye.'?

This assistant wanted me to provide my name, address, age, email, phone number and skin type, all of which she was poised to enter on her screen.  I said, 'I don't want to give out all my personal information, I just want to buy an eye pencil.'  Her attitude then became decidedly less personable.  I resented the way she asked, though, apart from anything.  The way she attempted to make me feel as though I was to be treated like a Clinique VIP who would get special treatment, so that I might sell my soul to the great data compilation.

Seems like these days you can't buy from any shop, anywhere, without having more products pushed at you by an assistant who's been on a one day 'engaging the customer' course, and being offered loyalty cards, store cards, email alerts, etc.   

What with the assault of Christmas music in every shop, it is more likely to drive people to Amazon than draw them back to the high street.  Sales and marketing people, think on.



37 comments:

  1. Try going into Debenhams for a coffee, these days. Hardly taken the first sip and some poor woman assistant comes around to ask if you have everything you want. ER... yeah?!! Is everything to your satisfaction? ... Just wanted a coffee,like? Can I get you anything else? Well yes, sorry... bit of peace just to have a drink of coffee... and so on...

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    1. Oh no, save me from waiters and waitresses - they're almost all awful. Yeah, it's like...a cup of coffee. This is so like the eye pencil thing. It seems you can't just make a simple transaction these days.

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    2. I reckon it's all something to do with pressurising waiters, shop assistants to bring in more money to compete with online. And we're on the receiving end.

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    3. Of course it is; that's all it is! Lydia's comment, below, sums it up - as does my answer to her!!

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  2. I always say no to getting my receipt e-mailed too, as you say it gets a frosty reception.
    Last week at Tesco even the trolley collector went the extra mile, I was just unloading the last bag into the car, when he offered to take my trolley, then he launched into, an unasked for, non-stop chain of jokes, then a potted life-history. I found myself laughing, not at the jokes, but at the fact I was stood in a carpark. Being too polite to ask him to go away, I waited it out, inching toward my car door all the time. My daughter had managed to get further away, was also not helping by laughing at my situation. But I didn't like it or ask for it, it made me uncomfortable.

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    1. That's awful, Rosie! You know me, I'd have said something. If Julia reads this, please tell Rosie about that awful lad in the co-op - the one after Dad died, do you remember?

      I just can't believe that people just hand over their emails. Not enough people question this stuff.

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  3. Oh how I can relate... going actual shopping is becoming a nightmare these days. Whatever happened to the idea that the customer is always right?

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    1. It's ghastly, isn't it? I was going to buy all my presents in the city shops this year, but after one session I gave up, and have ordered online instead.

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  4. 'Enjoy the rest of your day' is clearly the in phrase that they're all told to say now. I've had it said to me in every retail environment, from the saleswoman in LK Bennett to the teenager on the till at Morrisons. It's really weird. The best one was when I decided I would give my information to the salesgirl in Whistles, because I like their clothes, and she responded to my every short phrase with the word 'Amazing', thus: 'First name?' 'Julia.' 'Amazing'. 'Surname?' 'Hiddleston.' 'Amazing.' And so on and on. I was so flabbergasted by this idiocy that I didn't say what I wanted to say, i.e. 'it's not amazing, it's just my post code.'

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    1. It's just dreadful. I think we ought to email customer services in the worst offenders, about it. Or just send them this post.

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  5. I am so with you on much of this, T. What I really hate are assistants being too personal over the items I've bought when I'm at the till. Specifically when it comes to food. I do not want them to comment, for example, on the amount of chocolate I've bought, with something like... oooh, someone's treating themselves! I've had to grit my teeth and smile more than once. It's just nosey, and presumptuous.

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    1. It's really awful, isn't it? One of the Asda woman repeatedly picks up items and says, ooh yes, coffee, that looks nice, it's just reminded me, I've got to put it on my shopping list, too. That's obviously her stock 'thing'. Or they comment on how 'healthy' my choices are. It's none of their damn business. On more than one occasion, I've said, 'can I just pay for my shopping, please?'

      One girl in Morrissons said to me, recently, 'if you don't mind me asking, what is this non-dairy stuff like? I was thinking of trying it, but, etc'. It was clearly a genuine question, and we had a chat about it. i.e., I am not just a rude twat who doesn't want to talk. But yes, when it's random comments about what you're buying.

      The other day I was buying nothing but 2 x 18 packs of loo rolls, in Home Bargains by the bus stop. I felt like saying, 'before you ask, yes, my bowels are playing up.'

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    2. Ha! I am also not a monster. If the cashier has a genuine question, or interest, in something I've bought then fine, I'm happy to discuss. I can just do without the unwarranted judgement.

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  6. That's just terrible! Do you remember Caroline Aherne's running sketch about the shop assistant who comments on all the customers' purchases? It was a joke back then! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsNq3nQ612c

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    1. I will look that up and add it to my tweets/this post!

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  7. The worst one was in the Co-op the evening before my dad's funeral. I was with my boyfriend, and the young chap on the till said 'And what sort of a day have you had?' to me. I wouldn't normally be so rude, but I was upset and said, 'pretty awful, my dad's just died'. Then I felt ashamed to take it out on him and said, 'sorry, I know you have to say these things to customers,' and he said, 'no, no, I like saying them!' As John continued to bag up our groceries (we were clearly together) the young chap turned to him and said, 'And what sort of a day have you had?' John said 'I think we'll leave it at that, shall we?' I simply couldn't believe the idiocy. He could have been my brother, who'd also lost his dad. I walked away complaining loudly that I was appalled at the stupidity of these people. Not something I normally would do, but really!

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    1. Quel moron. It's totally unnecessary anyway. If you want to chat to the sales asst, you'll do so. It's the way they try to force you into it that annoys me.

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  8. I used to work in retail. If their stores were anything like the ones I worked in, these shop associates have been trained to do this. In fact, they could be written up or fired for not behaving this way. It's not something they're doing for fun or anything like that.

    I totally agree with you that it's annoying. Since these techniques work on enough people to keep marketing departments convinced that this should be the shopping experience at a lot of places, the best thing you can do is vote with your wallet.

    There are certain shops I refuse to visit because of their non-stop up-selling, requests for personal information, and high-pressure sales techniques.

    On the positive side, there are other shops (who are generally small businesses/not chains) who don't do any of these things. I spend as much as I can at them and relish my peaceful shopping experiences there. :)

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    1. Thanks, Lydia. Yes - I hope I made it clear in my post that I didn't think for one moment that it was the choice of the sales assistants to do this moronic stuff. A while back I was talking to an assistant of about my age in Superdrug, and she said that it's in their contract; they have to actively push other products and store cards. She hated it. Also, they're always watchful of the mystery shoppers, who are there to make sure they're doing it.

      I find it's present in all the high street shops now, with few exceptions. Of all those I've visited in the last few weeks, on 3 different sessions, only Waterstones and Hotel Chocolat didn't try to push stuff at me.

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    2. No, not at all! A lot of people haven't realized that this is something retail workers are forced to do, though, so I like bringing it up when possible.

      Sorry to hear it's spreading. That's no good at all.

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  9. Yes, shopping is grim, especially at this time of year - shops full of tat and tinkly music.
    But - as you know I live alone. There are days when, if I didn’t go out for coffee, I’d talk to no one. I’m very happy with my own company, but - especially when the skies are grey - I know I need to mingle from time to time. I won’t give my email address, nor respond to any of the ‘you must buy this’ gimmicks - but the young people in the coffee shop know me well enough to smother my cappuccino with chocolate without asking me. It’s a small thing - but there are days when that matters.
    I’m not a shopper - I don’t need stuff. But sometimes I need company.

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    1. Yes, I get that. It's nice if you've got somewhere you can go where you feel the staff are friendly. But it needs to be your choice, not pushed on you, doesn't it?

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    2. Agreed - and I'm very capable of standing my ground if anyone gets pushy!

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  10. Great post, Terry. I absolutely agree with you. I had a similar experience in Fenwick's recently (different store). It might be that they do this 'profiling' thing more than other stores. Haven't come across it so much in other places. I was buying perfume and got the same request as you for personal details. I told the male assistant I didn't want a profile because I rarely shop at Fenwicks. Like you I was horrified with the whole idea. (We all give out much too much information in general.)
    The assistant turned sour. "You don't have to get stroppy about it," he said. I told him I wasn't the stroppy one, but that I would be if he kept pressing for personal details. Anyway he backed off in the end and I legged it.
    Debenhams constantly ask if they can email receipts. I fear the day will come when we won't be able to buy anything in stores until we first give up our email and other personal details. What with Facebook supposedly selling off our data and hacking into texts etc, is nothing really private any more?
    Let's all keep fighting back.
    Regards, Marjory

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    1. Good for you for standing your ground - they need this; if we keep smiling and seething inside, they will never find out how much customers hate it.

      Absolutely! It's why I scarcely use Facebook. They actually have AI that identifies your facial expressions when you look at certain posts, and gears the adverts you see based on it, and all your 'likes'; not even of products, but of friendly chat. I felt, on these 3 shopping trips, that it is now impossible to go to a shop and just buy something, via a helpful assistant - they use the rapport as an 'in' to sign you up for something. I always use cash to shop, everywhere, because I hate the idea of a profile being built up based on what I buy. I will keep using cash for as long as I can.

      Indeed - let's keep fighting back! I have tagged M&S, Clinique, Sainsburys and Asda in this post, when tweeted :D

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    2. When you say that FB uses AI to identify facial expressions while looking at posts. Do you mean they do that through the web cam on your device?

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    3. Yes, that's how it's done. Which is why it's essential to have a sticker over your camera. I've read about it in a couple of books on the subject, most recently in 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari.

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  11. Good post, Terry. When another assistant begins their spiel you need a card of your Renova Project novels, Tipping Point, in particular, smile nicely with a 'I'd rather not, and here's the reason. Do read it. You will probably think twice yourself.'

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    1. Ha ha, love it! Or, I'll tell you what, how about you give me YOUR email address, and I'll bombard you with promotional emails about my books??!!

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  12. Thank goodness they don’t do that over here in the shops I use. I think I’d feel obliged to be very direct. The worst we get is sales people in our version of Boots asking if we know how to take a paracetomol tablet or vitamin pill...I always want to say yes, sweetie, I’ve been taking them since before you were born...haha, but I know that’s just to cover themselves if anything goes wrong. The Dutch aren’t really into meaningless drivel and they definitely don’t ask for my email address. They do always say ‘fijne dag nog’ though, which is their version of ‘have a good day’, but they’ve been saying that ever since I came here. It doesn’t bother me...just another way of saying goodbye.

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    1. How lovely, Val! If only the shops were like that here, I'd be more inclined to go real life shopping - but each time I do, I get so irritated by all the push, push, push and insincerity that I come home early and do the rest online.

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  13. I avoid the shops at this time of year because there are WAY too many stupid people walking around! However, I'm probably the only person in the world (going from your post and comments) who enjoys chatting to the sales assistants lol. When my kids are really busy and out all the time then the chap at the co-op can be the only adult I've seen or spoken to all day. His 'have a lovely afternoon' is quite nice and I leave with a smile. My eldest son (now 20) used to work on the trolley's at Tesco as his Saturday job and received loads of lovely messages (granted - from the older residents in town) about the way he would take the trolley from them to save them walking to the park, and how he would always ask if they were okay - he wasn't trained to do it by Tesco, he's just a lovely kid. Unfortunately, there are far too many 'salesy' people around now as you have pointed out, but that takes away the shine from the genuine people who are trying to earn a living and be authentic. Although I'm the odd ball here (nothing new there lol) I'll still stick to buying from small local businesses or the internet just to avoid the crowds - and the Christmas music eek!!

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    1. I hope I didn't give the impression that I never want to talk to shop assistants, Shelley! I often chat with the people in the shops up the road, who I've got to know over the years - that's a whole different kettle of fish. Or genuinely friendly people, anywhere - as I said in one of the comments, there's one checkout girl in Morrissons who always talks to me about my non-dairy food choices, because she's genuinely interested. This is a completely different thing - it's the insincerity and obvious sales-orientated fake chat that I and others can't stand.

      Yes, that Christmas music.... argh!!!! it's enough to put anyone off, even without the 'ooh, this is a lovely coat' comments every time you buy something in M&S, and the endless email requests!!!

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    2. Not at all, Terry. I tend to avoid the high street shops (where you find the sales-oriented fake peeps) and head to the local shops where I'll find decent conversations just as you've said. Unfortunately, that insincerity is being drummed into the younger generation as part of their staff training! I just know I'm going to fall about laughing the next time an assistant says they like my purchase ;)

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  14. Until I read these comments, I thought the worst offenders were those assistants in our local Sainsbury's who ask, "What are you planning to do for the rest of the day?" It's none of their business! My husband suggested we should tell them we were planning to make a porn movie. However, as we are a very respectable looking couple in our 70s and, as we shop regularly in our local Sainsbury's, we couldn't quite bring ourselves to do so...

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    1. Ha ha ha! Oh yes, taxi drivers round here do that one. They say, 'What are you up to for the rest of the day, then?' I can't be rude because I'm in the car, but I always just say 'this and that'. In other words, not your business.

      I think it's up to us to say something that makes it clear that we don't like all this intrusive rubbish, though! When the young lad in M&S pretended he liked my coat and then tried to flog me the advent thingy, he had a female supervisor of about my age standing beside him. I ignored him, smiled at her and said, 'This is why people shop online. Because we hate upselling.' Her smile told me she knew what I meant.

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  15. Yesterday I had someone ask me what I was drinking from Costa Coffee (I had a take out cup) and then explained that she had never been in Costa and how she was going to go in one once but the queue was too long etc. I was buying a newspaper with my purchases and she read the headline and then commented on it before opening the pages and flicking through. How I didn't lose my temper I don't know. Hubby just said, 'Even I'm not allowed to read the paper before she does'. She then scanned it and put it down.

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