I don't follow you back on Twitter if....

• you don't have a profile picture - come on, there must be something you can upload....
• you don't have a bio - although I do make an exception if you look nice!
• we don't share any interests at all, as I don't see the point - nothing personal
• you mention the words TEAM FOLLOW BACK
• your profile picture is of someone's genitalia (I realise it won't be your own, as I doubt very much that people with the bodies displayed on such pictures have to go trawling Twitter looking for sex partners)
• you are an author of the type of erotica that is openly hardcore porn
• you reckon you're a book marketing/social media expert (bet you're not!)
• you are a rap artist (nothing against you, just really not into that sort of music)
• you are a book; I prefer to follow the writer, not the book 
• you send me tweets telling me to follow you back
• you send me tweets trying to flog me something
• you send me tweets asking me to RT something without even having said hello
• your bio implies that you are looking for sexual shenanigans
• I don't think your profile photo belongs to you
• your bio says 'download book here' followed by the link
• your bio isn't written in English
• your bio is semi-literate
• you try to be clever - I have since found out what a 'petanquist' is, but I still reckon he was just showing off
• you claim to be 'inspirational' (bet you're not!), or have 'eclectic tastes', or be a 'self-confessed geek'
• your bio is some worn out, so called 'profound' quotation
• you describe yourself as an entrepreneur, or, worse, a 'mediapreneur' - or the horrendous 'mompreneur'
• your bio is a mass of hashtags - why???
• you are a Belieber