Monday 27 August 2012

DREAM ON - my new novel!

.... is now available on Amazon!

Here's the blurb for the Amazon page, so you can see what it's about:

Dave Bentley was born to be a rock star.

He’s a reincarnated Viking warrior, too….

When Dave forms his new band, Thor, there are plenty of sleepless nights for Janice, his on-off girlfriend and mother of his son.  Not only must she deal with the thrills and spills of life as a hardworking single mum, but also the imminent return of singer-songwriter Ariel Swan, Dave’s one true love.

Poor Janice.  Dave is still the love of her life.

Ariel and her friend Melodie (whose ambition is to be ‘a celebrity’) decide to enter a TV talent competition – so Thor go along, too.  This adventure brings about big changes in the lives of all of them – none of which Dave could have anticipated.

One member of Thor even ends up on The Jeremy Kyle Show…..


It's a bit shorter than my other ones (80K words instead of 90-95K), simply because that was all the story required.  It's more humorous, too, what with Dave and his pub band, and Melodie with her 'celebrity' aspirations - oh, and other talent show contestants, and The Jeremy Kyle Show, and....! One of my test readers described it as a 'kitchen sink drama' - there is quite a bit of serious real life/relationship stuff going on as well.

I'm planning a sequel for it, which I will start writing soon.  If you've enjoyed my other books I think you will like this one, too - if not, I hope this one will spark your interest!

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Tuesday 21 August 2012

Things that make me go GRRRRR

I don't experience learning curves, I just learn things.

I don't pop across to the dentist's chair, your blogsite, the checkout, or indeed anywhere else - I just go there, okay?Similarly, medical people, do not just pop the needle into my arm, or ask me to just pop my clothes off, right?

Neither do I simply pop things into the oven, despite the instructions on the back of various foodstuffs.  The words 'put' and 'take' are fine; we don't have to be all pseudo-chummy about this.

When I have any experience that lasts a while, or decide to do something new, I am not going on a journey, unless I am, during this time, for instance, catching the number 27 to Morrissons.  

I have changes in my life, but they are not necessarily sea changes.

I may be pleased about something, but I most certainly do not *do a happy dance*  or, if triumphant, *do a victory dance*

I make guesses or estimates, I do not make guestimates.

When I worked as the Accounts person in an engineering firm, I was not a number cruncher.

Can't I want all my book covers to look similar without creating a brand?

I imagine all teachers make a difference every day of their lives, they don't have to make a song and dance about it.

I prefer to get together and discuss things with people, rather than touch base.

That stuff around my waist is not curves, it's fat.

I can really love doing something, get very enthusiastic about it - obsessed for a while, even - but I haven't suddenly started to describe it as 'my passion'

I don't source, gift or growth things, I do not task people to do anything, and I would certainly never birth or parent.  Why not?  Because they are nouns, not verbs.

I will never, ever attend a webinar.  I might look at an online seminar, though.

I laugh a lot and I am probably slightly unconventional in outlook, but I am not quirky, sassy, kooky, and please strike me down the day I become bubbly.

I will send you a message on Facebook, I will not inbox you.

When I talk about something that used to happen in the past, I will refrain from using the term 'back in the day'.

Anyone who tries to sell me a few olives, nuts and seeds in some crappy container and calls it a graze box is at risk of getting it shoved where the sun etc etc.

I do not have tipples, I have drinks

When I find something particularly enjoyable to eat or drink, I say 'Mmmm', not nom nom nom.

...thank you to Sarah Vogel for reminding me of this one - if I want something in a shop I say "Please can I have", not "can I get...", one of the many things that sound okay when Americans say it, but awful when English people adopt it.  Dude.

There are many, many more, and more will be added, unfortunately, as time goes on, and these will be adopted by many, too, alas......