Everything seemed so normal - there we sat, my brother Eddie, me, my sister Julia, just a pleasant family get-together at our cousin's Sue's house. Or so we thought...
...until Cousin Sue's neighbour banged on the door, begging to be let in, distraught, bloody; he said that a mysterious virus had appeared down at the docks, and 'things were getting bad in town'.
And all of a sudden he changed into a ... well, a monster. He bit Sue, actually bit her, and suddenly there was mayhem. It all happened so quickly. Around us, our family members turned into bloodthirsty savages.
Then Eddie said, "I think this might be the zombie apocalypse'
Nothing fazed my sister. Julia said, "Look, we've watched The Walking Dead, we know how to fight these things!" Indeed we did. Once we'd dispatched our former family members using kitchen utensils, mostly, Eddie took our grandfather's ceremonial sword from the its hooks on the wall. I found a handy crossbow in the cupboard under the sink, and Julia filled a Louis Vuitton handbag with supplies.
An abandoned bike waited for us outside - we were ready!
We strode through the streets, collecting weapons as we went, confident in our ability to fight the living dead.
How hard could it be?
"We've got this licked," said Julia. "After 11 seasons of TWD and all the spin-offs, we know how to ex a few zombies!"
After a while, though, it did start to get a bit more scary...
...so we left for the seaside, thinking things might be quieter in peaceful Cromer. But zombies were everywhere! We fought them on the streets, on the pier, in Morrisons; we fought them on the beaches!
'We fight on!' cried Eddie, brandishing his Katana, slicing head from body with style and aplomb that would have impressed even Michonne!
Eddie wielded his blade like a man possessed! However, Julia and I got into a tussle with a few of them, after which we started to feel a bit strange.
"Have you two been bitten?' Eddie asked. Of course we said no, it was just a scratch. But he looked at us oddly. I felt like he didn't believe us. I wasn't sure if I believed us, either.
Hi, this is Eddie.
I was right, they'd been bitten. Still, a man's gotta do what a man's got to do, even if those slavering freaks used to be his sisters!
