OH MY GOD I'M SUCH A FAT PIG!!

..... yes, it's that time of year!


Last night I looked in the mirror and was appalled by what I saw.  However skillful your make-up, nothing can disguise those chubby cheeks...  and don't get me started on the stomach that seems to the THERE, in my way, whatever I'm doing....

I decided, this morning, that a drastic kick-start was necessary.  Last year, a friend of mine went from being fairly hefty to looking pretty good, by doing one of those diets where you pay someone shedloads of money to send you a load of dried STUFF, then just eat that instead of real food.  Sounds a bit crazy, yes, but it worked, she looks great, and she's kept it off.  

I knew that she'd been on these special 'juice cleanse' things, too, obtained from the same company.  I don't usually go in for that sort of thing, but, as I said, emergency measures are called for, particularly as in two weeks' time I have to meet up with two slim and glamorous friends who I haven't seen for a while!

Aforementioned friend gave me the link to the website for this 'juice cleanse' thingy.  I looked at it.  The cost was £200 for a 5 day course.

Okay, you've picked yourself up off the floor, right?  But I expect you thought the same as I did.  Two hundred quid for five days' worth of fruit juice??? What sort of profit margin do they make on that, one wonders??  I'm in the wrong job!  

So, that one's out of the window.  I shall now go to Morrissons, and buy lots of fruit to make my own.  

On the subject of having to meet my slim and glamorous friends, though, something else occurred to me.  Men don't worry about this sort of thing, do they?  Why can't women be more like men?  

Consider these two scenarios.

Scenario I

Clare, Lucy and Emma meet up for the first time in 6 months.  Clare has put on a lot of weight.

Clare: God, I was dreading meeting up with you - I've really piled the weight on since giving up my job.  Well, you can see I have - okay, I've been sitting on the sofa with the ice cream too...  I feel horrible!

Lucy: You still look fine.  Honestly, it's not half as bad as you think, and you're wearing the right clothes to hide it.

Emma:  Don't worry.  Happens to us all.  Try the Atkins diet, it's brilliant.  But you look great, anyway! 

Clare goes to loo...

Lucy:  Crikey, hasn't she piled it on!  I mean, she's still pretty, but ...

Emma.  Yeah, but she needs to get a grip.  She told me she's a size 14, but I reckon it's more like 16.....

Both cast an eye up and down each other's forms, to assess which of them is the thinnest. 

Scenario 2

John and Bob are meeting up for the first time in 6 months.  John has put on a lot of weight.

Bob (giving John's stomach a playful slap): Christ, mate, what's all that?  Did you leave any of the pies for anyone else??!

John:  Fuck off you cheeky tosser.

They laugh and retire to the bar for a drink, the subject now done and dusted.

I write the books I want to read - do you?

..... I don't think I could write any other way!  There are certain subjects I LOVE to read about, so I put them in my books, because I love to write about them, too - when I start a new book I always think, ooh, what can I put in this one?  Does everyone do this?  


One of the things I love reading about, in magazines and newspaper articles, too, is women who are diet obsessed - how they feel about putting on weight, how their image of themselves affects their life, the lengths they go to in order to limit their food intake - which is why I created SARAH in 'You Wish'.  

...and I also have a strange fascination with people who can't accept that someone they're crazy about is not interested in them, and who do all sorts of cringe-making things in their self-delusion - PETRA in 'You Wish' was making me squirm as I wrote her!  I suspect it's a bit of that 'there but by the grace of God go I' thing - most of us get real and know when to think, okay, he's just not that into me, but poor Petra is unable to do this...

The general theme of this book is whether our lives are controlled by destiny, coincidence, or personal choice - something else about which I ponder frequently.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/You-Wish-ebook/dp/B006423HGW
http://www.amazon.com/You-Wish-ebook/dp/B006423HGW

I like to write from personal experience too, not as a cathartic thing but just because the writing comes more easily when I really know how something feels.  I know we can't always write about what we know, or no books about zombies or vampires or life after a worldwide nuclear catastrophe would ever be written, but it works for me.  Like many people, I've experienced periods of loneliness in my life; endless Friday nights involving nothing more than a bottle of wine to drink alone, and MySpace!  SHARON in 'Nobody's Fault' reflects much of this - lots of my readers have told me how they really identified with her; I think the lonely bit is something most of us have experienced, especially in this day and age when there are so many more divorces and single people living alone.

I love a grand passion, too - hence ADRIENNE and NICK in 'Nobody's Fault' - the love affair that can't be resisted and causes havoc for all those involved.  Speaking as one who's always followed my heart, I tend to write about people who do so, as well!  I won't say too much in case you want to read the book, but I do like to read tales about people who completely lose it when everything comes crashing down... 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Nobodys-Fault-ebook/dp/B006VHGWIA
http://www.amazon.com/Nobodys-Fault-ebook/dp/B006VHGWIA


Oh, and now I come to that 'Sliding Doors' thing, which I think about so much!  Thus: if I hadn't taken a job at that office in 1981 I wouldn't have met my friend Angela, with whom I went to that party where I met my first husband Steve, through whom I met Jane, whose spare room I stayed in when Steve and I broke up.  If I hadn't stayed with Jane I wouldn't have done a few shifts in the pub across the road, where I met Alan, who became my second husband, and who insisted we move to Norfolk... etc etc etc!  This is the theme of 'The Other Side', which I first wrote in about 1999; I re-thought it all and re-wrote it last year.  

In 'The Other Side' I've written about lots of other things that I adore reading about, too - self obsessed women who want to 'have it all', bored housewives stuck in dreary marriages, the cut-and-thrust of 1980s Thatcher's Britain, a rock chick or two, the fear that someone is out to steal your man, and the deterioration of people for whom alcohol becomes a serious problem... 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Other-Side-ebook/dp/B00843W6QG
http://www.amazon.com/The-Other-Side-ebook/dp/B00843W6QG


....and lastly, I come to 'Dream On'.  I've known loads of struggling musicians and pub bands in my time, and I wanted to write about them - the guys you see down the pub, the ones who go to all the rock gigs and want to be rock stars, too! Some books I'd read on this subject didn't seem to be written by the people who'd known these guys, so I thought I'd write about them myself.  'Dream On' isn't only about DAVE and the other members of Thor, though (yes, Dave thinks he's a reincarnated Viking), but about the relationship between him and the mother of his son, JANICE - I wanted to write about a real life, ordinary woman, living on her own in a council house with her son, fearing that the man she loves is never coming back.  Janice and the other main female character, ARIEL, are both strong women who don't make a song and dance about it, they just get on with stuff; and they're not at all 'girly'.  The sort of women I like!

'Dream On' is full of characters drawn from people I've known - the funny Geordie drummer, the completely bonkers 'artiste' GLYNIS who runs a 'creative workshop', the womanising guitarist SHANE, 'chav' MELODIE with her hair extensions, whose life ambition is to appear in Hello! magazine - and, never mind the TV talent show, I LOVED writing the bit where one of the characters ends up being forced to go on The Jeremy Kyle Show..!

On a more serious note, I've dealt with the issue of Alzheimer's sufferers and their carers in this novel, too - my mother has this, and I hoped that anyone else who has experience of it would want to read about it in a novel, as I did.  I like the way that the subject sometimes features in soap operas; the problems surrounding this are getting more attention these days, I am happy to say.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dream-On-ebook/dp/B0094WNOF8
http://www.amazon.com/Dream-On-ebook/dp/B0094WNOF8


I'm in the process of writing the sequel to 'Dream On', as I felt the stories of Dave, Janice, Shane and Ariel were not yet finished.  (Note from Sept 2013 - Full Circle was published in April) In this one I've written about more things I love to read about - the problems facing someone whose spouse is an alcoholic (and the shame of the alcoholic who's made a complete fool of him/herself!), jealousy, the anger people feel when they realise they've been lied to, the pretensions of those who feel they are intellectually superior to others, and the joy of giving them their come-uppance ....  it will be called 'Full Circle' and I hope it will be ready for publication soon!  

After 'Full Circle' I am going to start writing another novel, about another favourite subject of mine - stalkers.  I touched on this a bit in 'You Wish', but this time it will be the main theme of the new novel - title as yet undecided.  It will also be about the way people are affected by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, another topic that interests me greatly.  It won't be as light as 'Dream On', though it's been said that I manage to deal with quite heavy subjects in an easily readable way, so it won't be much of a departure from the norm. (Note from Sept 2013 - this has just been published, and is called 'What it Takes')

I hope you've enjoyed reading a bit about what I like to write about - and what I like to read about, too - all suggestions to add to my ever growing 'to read' list are welcome!

To Go Free Or Not To Go Free? That Is The....

I've read quite a lot lately about whether or not one should offer one's books for free. Many people feel that to do this cheapens not only one's own work but also the market as a whole.  There are many arguments for and against, and I daresay you might have seen one or two of them yourself.  I was reading one on the blog of Geoff West yesterday....

http://geoffreywestdotcom.wordpress.com/

...which you might like to look at, too, as both the blog and its comments feature both schools of thought.

What do I think?

About three years ago, when I had written much but had not yet heard of Amazon KDP or even Kindles, I was browsing my local library.  I came across a book entitled 'Mutiny On The Bounty' by John Boyne, which I imagined, rightly, to be a fictional account based on the true story.  I love this genre anyway, and have always been fascinated by the tale of this famous mutiny, so I got the book out.  

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mutiny-On-The-Bounty-ebook/dp/B0031RS6FA

It was marvellous, unputdownable.  I then went on to read the rest of John Boyne's books, and extol his genius far and wide. I will add that he was good enough to accept my friend request on Facebook, and seems to be a thoroughly nice chap.  

Now, John Boyne is an internationally acclaimed author, anyway, and you could argue that he didn't need my approval. Indeed, he could probably live without mine alone.  However, the approval of thousands like me, as a group of people who love his work as much as I do, has got him where he is today.  I probably wouldn't have bought 'Mutiny' if I'd seen it in a shop. But I had the chance to try for free the books of this author about whom I knew nowt.  I wonder how many of his other devotees discovered him in the the same way?

Here's another story.  A couple of years ago, my sister read a book that had been a free giveaway in some magazine; it was called 'The Big Picture' by Douglas Kennedy.  She had never heard of Douglas Kennedy, and nor had I.  She read it, then phoned me and said "You MUST read this book!"  Since then, she and I have both bought and read all ten of his books, and extolled his virtues ... ditto the above, re John Boyne (minus the Facebook bit!)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Big-Picture-ebook/dp/B005KKWC4C

I discovered Emily Barr in a second hand shop.  Well, not her in person, but her book 'Plan B', for about a quid.  Need I say more?  
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Plan-B-ebook/dp/B004JHY89Y

Speaking of Emily Barr, I was delighted to see that my book 'The Other Side' now features in the 'Customers also bought' lists of several of her books on Amazon!  How cool is that?  Now, this wouldn't have happened if I had never put my first book, 'You Wish', out there for a three day free promotion.  I'd still be selling about six books a month, like I was when I first started!  The free download opportunity gave people the opportunity to try out my novels without spending a penny.  

Yes, I do value my work.  I value it so much that I want as many people to read it as possible, which is why giving out free copies is something I am happy to do.  It's only the same as having them in a library.  Of course I want to make money from writing.  I have international bestseller fantasies, the same as anyone!  But the main reason I write is because I love it, and I want other people to love what I do.  The more people who read my books, the more are likely to do so.

Oh, here's 'The Other Side', by the way!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Other-Side-ebook/dp/B00843W6QG/ref=pd_sim_kinc_1

What do you think about all this?

Writing six weeks later....  I just wanted to say one thing, though....  since Christmas the amount of books that are on free promotion at any one time seems to have quadrupled - which makes me wonder if anyone actually need pay for a book ever again.  There's an air of desperation about it ~ writers seem to be putting a book out on sale for a month, then, when it doesn't become an instant bestseller, shoving it on for free, in the hope that it will boost post-promotion sales.  Thus, the free promotion no longer has the effect it used to, because everyone's doing it.  Ah, well.  All markets flood, eventually, I suppose.  My thoughts on the rest of it, as a principle, still stand, though, and I will still put my books on for free from time to time.

It gets right on my nerves, it does.....

....just me talking about things that annoy me again!!

'Are you ready for Christmas?'  
     Have you had your first one yet this year?  I got mine yesterday.  I don't expect the person who asked me this will have a very good one, as I was forced to cut her head off.

Why is it always so HOT everywhere?  
     Since about the end of September this year, every time I go into a doctor's or hospital waiting room, or on a train, I feel about fit to pass out because the heating is always turned up full blast. Don't the people who recklessly whack up the thermostats in these places realise that most who visit them will be wearing coats?  
     Shops are as bad; until I get to the chilled section in Morrissons I have to walk around with my coat hanging over my trolley, thus revealing that I couldn't be bothered to change out of my bleach stained leezurewear t-shirt before I came out (my fault - I should learn). In early October I went into Marks & Spencer to buy a winter coat, and the mere activity involved in trying a few on actually made attractive beads of sweat appear on my face.  I mentioned it to one of the shop assistants; she said, 'oh yes, it's awful, isn't it.  I just try to move around really slowly.' 
     Taxis are usually dry and airless, too - and some people's houses - what happened to wearing a jumper?  I haven't worn or bought one for years.  Can't be healthy, being so artificially hot all the time, can it?

Talking of shops, I'd like to say this:
     I want to buy the bottle of shampoo I've just brought up to the counter.  I don't want to top up my mobile, buy stamps (postal, saving or otherwise), invest in an aftershave gift set for 'just' £12.99, add a family sized bar of chocolate to my shopping list, get that DVD for half price because I've spent over 50 quid (and, presumably, because it isn't selling at the normal price), change my house insurance or anything else you're offering me.  
     Yes, I know it's not the fault of the sales people who have to offer all these things.  I feel sorry for them having to say it two hundred times a day.  I usually hold up my hand to stop them as soon as they launch into the speech;  recently, one young chap in Savers thanked me most profusely, saying that his mouth was permanently dry and it made him feel like a right idiot. Sales promotion 'experts', listen to your staff and customers!


     How come women who are more than three stone overweight are no longer just 'fat', 'big', or the ghastly 'curvy', but, apparently, now 'sassy', too?


     And don't start me off on 'rocking' - "I'm currently rocking this really cool suit"; "Next time I'm rocking down to the supermarket..", etc etc.  Only acceptable if you're in Van Halen, otherwise it just makes you sound like a prat.  Still, at least the people who are currently saying it will have jumped onto the next bandwagon in a month or so.  That moment when..  Just sayin'...


     Clicking 'like' on someone's Facebook status update about people with an incurable disease/bad treatment of some monkey or other doesn't 'raise awareness' of it if you don't know what that disease etc is, and have forgotten all about it two minutes later, anyway.  
     It just makes you feel as if you've done something good.
     Guess what - you haven't!
     Even if your awareness is momentarily raised, this still doesn't actually do anything about it. Copy-and-pasting the actual Facebook status update doesn't do a great deal, either, unless you're actively involved in fund raising or spreading the word about new solutions for whatever it is. I think it was a journalist in the Guardian who invented the word for people who do this - Clicktivist.  Nice one!


Taxi drivers:
     Generally speaking, if people sit in the back of the car and answer your questions in monosyllables, it means they don't feel like talking. 


     Anyone else weary of the overuse (and often misuse) of these words? Genre.  Generic.  Exponential. Demographic.  Iconic.  Literally.  Ironic.


     I really, really hate the way that someone being sick on a television drama/soap/film is portrayed so graphically these days.  We don't actually need to see it coming out of their mouths, or, indeed, the remnants as they are wiped away.  Gross me out!


     Similarly, can't people ever kiss on telly/films without the sloppy, squelchy sounds???


     This isn't annoying, just something that amuses me. On films in which someone is going to confront a dangerous person, or in which a group of teenagers are going away for the weekend to some cottage in the hills where, inevitably, there will be a resident psycho waiting to pick them off one by one, have you noticed how, within the first ten minutes of the film, the fact that there is no mobile/cell reception is always established via one of them trying to make a phone call to their mum? Producers of such pictures must have cursed the advent of the mobile phone.  
     'Hey, Mr Huston, I don't like to mention this, me being just a lowly stage-hand an' all, but while he was hiding in that attic with the knife wielding maniac mooching around below, couldn't he have just called 911 on his cell?'


     Perhaps I just watch too many crap films!

A solution to the endless 'dodgy five star review' problem!

This isn't another moan about not-very-good books having five stars and the reviews all being from their mates, incidentally.

I've had my say before on this one  

http://terrytyler59.blogspot.co.uk/2012_09_01_archive.html

....so I won't repeat myself.  I'd just like to say this - reviewers, please look at what the stars actually mean before you post a review.  If you hover over the stars on Amazon and on Goodreads, they show you what they indicate.

Anyway, whatever happened to the 3 star review?  That quiet little cheeky one twiddling its thumbs, minding its own business in an average kind of way, in between 'it was fab' and 'it was crap'?  Don't see many of these little fellas, do you?

Let's hear it for the 3 star review!  Let's hear it for, "it was very good in parts, but I skip-read some of it, it wasn't quite my thing, but someone who loves this particular genre might lap it up.  If it was given a professional edit I might have given it four stars.  It was okay, fine, something pleasant enough to read on the beach that afternoon."

There, that's okay, isn't it?  It doesn't mean the author will hunt you down and set fire to your house, or unfollow you on Twitter, does it?

Now, the solution!


I think this would be for Amazon to introduce more stars.  I finished a book last night.  I read every word, read it quickly, found it fascinating, but can't quite give it five stars, because that would put it up there with my favourite books, wouldn't it?  Wish I could give it four and a half. So, how about a seven star scale?  Wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't it be good if you could give six stars on the seven star scale - equivalent to the four and a half star review?  Because that is what I think some five star reviews often are.  I would give four and a half stars to the book I finished last night.  So I'll give it five.  Because it was better than a book to which I would have given four.

Amazon's new scale should be:

7 - Amazing, loved it, didn't want it to end, right up there with my favourites
6 - Seriously good stuff, will recommend, but not quite up there with my favourites
5 - Good, I enjoyed it. 
4 - Good, a few dodgy bits, but on the whole it was pretty fair.
3 - Skip read it a bit.  Not too bad if you like that sort of thing
2 - Boring, not very well written, hardly managed to struggle through to the end
1 - Badly written shite, gave up without finishing.

There!  Wouldn't that be better?

My Top Four Independently Published Books This Year.....

What are yours?  


Now that we are eleven months into the year, I've been thinking about this.  So, in no particular order, here are my favourite four 'indie' books of this year.  

Drum roll.....

RATHBONE KYDD by K J Bennett 

Time travel and rock 'n' roll - what's not to like?

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Rathbone-Kydd-sexndrugsnquantum-stuff-ebook/dp/B009F1A5Y6/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353617619&sr=1-1

1923: A MEMOIR by Harry Leslie Smith 

Struggling through the early years of this century in northern England - fascinating stuff

http://www.amazon.co.uk/1923-Memoir-Lies-Testaments-ebook/dp/B0060CKF52/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353617693&sr=1-1

DUNGDA DE ISLAN' by Charles Dougherty

Charles and his wife's adventures around the Caribbean islands - wonderful!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dungda-de-Islan-ebook/dp/B0053GWJ3M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353617753&sr=1-1

THRIFT by Phil Church

Hilarious tale about a teacher losing the will to teach...

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Thrift-Misadventures-Inadequate-Teacher-ebook/dp/B005L9VJYQ/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353617811&sr=1-1

My reviews of all these are on the Amazon links :)

I am also very much looking forward to reading:

NORTHMAN by J D Hughes

http://www.amazon.co.uk/NORTHMAN-ebook/dp/B00A8G2CIY/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353618398&sr=1-1

and.....

THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO by David Ross

http://www.amazon.co.uk/THE-LAST-DAYS-DISCO-ebook/dp/B008C8LNJE/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353618561&sr=1-1

not to mention.......

COMING HOME by Chris Gallagher 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Coming-Home-ebook/dp/B006WDJ8OI/ref=sr_1_14?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353618676&sr=1-14

and.....

THE HIGHLANDER by Zoe Saadia

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Highlander-Rise-Aztecs-Series-ebook/dp/B009CCBCU4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353618766&sr=1-1

a special mention, for anyone who loves more girly stuff...

THE DATING GAME by Susan Buchanan

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Dating-Game-ebook/dp/B009Z2QPT4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353618899&sr=1-1

or if you prefer the psychologically thrilling, you could try 

HAUNTED by Maria Savva

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Haunted-ebook/dp/B00A0U0IK2/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353618978&sr=1-1

One day when I have a lot of time on my hands I really, really want to get stuck into the fantasy world of 

LEIYATEL'S EMBRACE by Clive S Johnson

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Leiyatels-Embrace-Dica-Series-ebook/dp/B005V0B8DW/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1353619157&sr=1-1

I hope you've found something to interest you there - and I'd love to hear what your favourite books of the year have been, and also the ones you recommend and are looking forward to reading.

There are so many more I am interested in reading or would like to mention, but I tried to just pick my favourites, ones I think may become favourites, or that might appeal to many others, too.

Thanks for reading this, too!

A HUGE thank you.....

..... to everyone who's helped me out this weekend - list below!

I've just finished a 3 day free promotion for my book, Dream On - I am happy to announce that you will no longer see my tweets about it all over Twitter! :)

If you have downloaded the book, you might be interested in this interview that the delightful Clive Eaton did with me on his blog - amongst other things, I've talked a bit about 'Dream On' and where the idea came from, and the research for it.

http://www.cliveeaton.com/terrytyler.html

Now!  Most importantly I had LOADS of help with the free promotion, without which I would not have been able to make a success of it.  I would like to thank EVERYONE who downloaded it, shared the link on Facebook, stuck it on other sites for me, and, most of all tweeted it and retweeted it on Twitter!  I've tried to keep up with reciprocating all the RTs as I was going along, and will continue to do so.

I'd like to give a special mention to some people who really 'went the extra mile', tweeting the book for me over and over and over again.  I am most touched by your help, and hope to be able to give similar help back to you in the future.  I apologise to anyone I've left out - I was frantically scribbling names down on lists all weekend!

Special thanks to (some will be with Twitter name, I'm afraid!): 

Susan Buchanan, Bev Spicer, Zoe Saadia, Charles Gonzo, Angela Fiendishly Fab, Ian Little, Dave Perlmutter, Electa Graham, Chantal Merlin, T W Luedke, K J Waters, Stephen Venables, Brian Menard, Geoffrey D West, K J Bennett, Gary R Walker, Maria Savva, Jane Sleuth 62, Carol Hedges, I C Camilleri, Proofreader Julia, Sonya Kemp, Vanessa Wester, Sherrie Lowe, Jennie Orbell, Emma Covill, Penelope Hellyer, Judee B, Andy Lucas, Lisa Corelli, Tony Huby, Kate Hanney, J D Hughes, E Lindley, Melodie Ramone, Neil Low, Patric Guntert, Richie Earl, Crystal Marcos, V T Vaughn, Laurie Breton, C S Sanders, Robbie Thomas, Bev Jones, David Leadbeater, Janice Ross, Kayla Stonor, Chris Gallagher, Peter Davey, Paul Shawcross, Lynn Gerrard, AreoMc, Roy Murry, Barbara Rumbarbar (!), Great One 04, Olivia M (Bunny lady), RM Duchene, Flick Merauld, Positive Jules, Bill Carson, Danny Kemp, Kerry Parkinson, Diane Major, L J Bush, Tim Prive, P J La Rue, Phillip Mayes, Tim Davis, Teresa Hamilton, Jonathan Grimm, Marie Fostino, Jeff Whelan, Wendy Potocki, Lisa Richardson, George Angus, Dan Chamberlain, Chris Petersen, Charity Parkerson, Josie Noonan, Emily Guido, I M Telling, Blue Harmonie, Dianna Bellerose, Ross Kitson, Mackenzie Brown, Clive Johnson,Roger Grubbs, Anita Philmar - and sorry if I've missed anyone out!

Thank you!  

DREAM ON IS FREE!!! From 9th - 11th November!

As above!  I'm crossing fingers that Amazon doesn't muck it up - I felt absolutely gutted for a fellow writer friend who had that happen  - she'd publicised it all over the place, but Amazon failed to put it on for free - please cross fingers for me too :)

DREAM ON will be free from approximately 9.30 am on Friday in the UK (and various times everywhere else!) - when I've done free promotions in the past that's about when they start. I hope that anyone who is interested in reading this will download it, and spread the word on Twitter, etc - many thanks in advance!  Oh, and it has 17 reviews on Amazon UK - and they're all five stars... 

Here's the synopsis:

Dave Bentley was born to be a rock star.  He's a reincarnated Viking warrior, too...

When Dave forms his new band, Thor, there are  many sleepless nights for Janice, his on-off girlfriend and mother of his son. Not only must she deal with the thrills and spills of life as a hardworking single mum, but also the imminent return of singer-songwriter Ariel Swan, Dave's one true love.

Poor Janice. Dave is still the love of her life.

Ariel Swan returns to small town life - and Dave's heart.
She and her friend Melodie (whose ambition is to be "a celebrity") enter a TV talent competition, so Dave and the rest of Thor decide to make the most of the opportunity for possible fame and fortune, too. This adventure brings about big changes in the lives of all of them – none of which Dave could have anticipated.

One member of Thor even ends up on The Jeremy Kyle Show...

~~~~~~~
Here's the Amazon link, in case you would like to read the reviews - I've got some that have made me very proud indeed, including ones from book bloggers, other authors and a top Amazon reviewer :)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dream-On-ebook/dp/B0094WNOF8/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_4


If you download it, I hope you enjoy it! 

THE BEST SALES PLOY EVER

....I bet you thought I was going to tell you how to sell tons of books, didn't you?  Well, it's nothing to do with that!

This is it.

Weightwatchers desserts

They are about 130 calories each (lots of different sorts, my current favourite is the strawberry meringue).  They come in packs of two, and they're GORGEOUS.


The clever sales ploy is putting them in packs of two.

You're trying to lose some weight and you see them in Morrissons and you buy them.  At only 130 calories they can't do any harm, can they?  Later on you eat one, and if you're quite strong willed you save the other one until the next day.  Then, because they're so lovely, next time you're in the supermarket you buy two packs of two; maybe the strawberry meringue, and the chocolate brownie.

Back at home you're not quite so strong willed as the day before, and this time you eat one after dinner, and the other one from the packet a few hours later, whilst watching telly.  Next day you remember how lovely they were, and eat the third one at lunch time.  Followed by the fourth one at about four pm, because they're only 130 calories each, and that's quite reasonable for an afternoon snack, isn't it?

You have now eaten 520 calories worth of zero nutrition, probably extra to the calories you would have otherwise eaten had you not discovered Weightwatchers desserts.

 Thus, you don't lose any weight.

Thus, you resume the diet the following Monday.  Diet resumed (in your head, anyway) you know you'll need low calorie ways to satisfy your sweet tooth.  So, whilst in the supermarket buying all your diet food, you buy a packet of Weightwatchers desserts, promising yourself that you will only eat one per day after dinner.  Of course, you don't.

And so it goes on.

I can see myself buying these lovely, wretched little things forever.

The current outrage against fake reviews...

..... and those that people pay for, which amount to the same thing - they're all fake.

This is what I think:

Yes, the whole practice is appalling, but I'm not joining in with the pitchfork waving on various blogs, or the signing of petitions, and nor shall I adopt the phrase 'sock puppet', which is already over-used.

For a start, they're few and far between, which is one of the reasons we hear about them when they're brought to light.  We worry that they will undervalue the 99.9% of reviews that are genuine, but they probably won't.   Don't forget, most people who have Kindles probably don't even know about all this; remember the LendInk row?  Has that had any lasting effect on any of the authors involved?  What's that?  You've never heard of it?  There you go, then.

Yes yes, it's amazing that John Locke has admitted to paying for some of his, but it's probable that his books would have sold as many without them - he had LOADS of great contacts, was one of the first to do the ebook thing, and I daresay his books are highly saleable anyway.

The people who resort to paying for reviews or writing their own fake ones are to be pitied, and educated, perhaps  - how bad does your book (or, more likely, your marketing) have to be, that you can't get proper reviews for it?  Posting fake ones won't do them any good in the long run; rather the opposite.  If people have bought a book on the basis of its 20 five star reviews, then find it to be crap, they're more likely to feel annoyed and write a bad review.  Also, they run the risk of being outed, as happened to RJ Ellory.  Incidentally, he was doing well anyway - must be some kind of nut!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/9521564/RJ-Ellory-admits-posting-fake-book-reviews-over-past-10-years.html

Eventually, the scum will rise to the surface; and it won't affect YOU, either.  I think people are forgetting one thing: the reading public/Amazon customers (which includes authors, too) is/are not stupid.  If a book has 10 5* reviews on the week of its publication, from people who have reviewed nothing else, (ie, from neither reviewers who received pre-publication review copies, nor loyal readers who've been looking forward to it) we KNOW some of them are likely to be fake.

Does 'fake' also run to getting all your mates to write great reviews, even if they haven't read it?  - ah, here we come to a blurred line.  If a friend of yours reads your book and loves it, then chooses to review it (maybe with a little prompting from you), does that make it a 'fake' review, too?

Since I've put my books out into the world,  I've gained a fair few readers who read them all, recommend them to others, and write reviews of them.  I've got to know some of them, which is great.  Some have become online friends; lovely!  Are other, already existing friends who read your book only because they know you, then write a review because a) they've loved it and b) you asked them to, really any different?  I'm sure you'll agree it's a grey area!

But back to paying for reviews.  Yes, it's a dreadful practice, and all I can say is more fool the writers who pay these scumbags to do such a thing, thus enabling them to earn money from idiots who should know better.  As for creating fake profiles to write good reviews for yourself and bad ones for 'the competition' - well, perhaps if they spent that time working on making their own books better, they wouldn't need to.