I've had it for breakfast, I've craved it in the middle of the afternoon, I've stood in the supermarket and thought, just don't buy it. If it's not in the house, I can't eat it. I'm okay if I don't take that first scoop. But I know beating this monkey on my back takes just one day at a time - and I am proud to announce that yesterday I DIDN'T HAVE ANY ICE CREAM!
I can now admit it at last - Hi, I'm Terry, and I'm an ice cream addict!
Just because Bradley Cooper does it, it's not okay! Thank goodness for ICAA ~ if you're an addict too, or think you might be, just take a look at the twelve step recovery plan, borrowed from Alcoholics Anoymous but made relevant to ice cream fiends everywhere.....
We admitted we were powerless over ice cream - that our lives had become unmanageable when faced with a tub of Carte D'or salted caramel.
(We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity)
We came to believe that a Power greater than our fridge freezer could restore us to a size 12.
(We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him)
We made a decision to turn our sweet tooth and helpless desire for Eton Mess at 3 in the morning over to the care of our loved ones, who agreed to padlock the freezer during night time hours.
(We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves)
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of how much we'd spent on Haagen Dazs in the last twelve months.
(We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs)
We admitted to our best pal, to ourselves and to another human being (or the cat) the exact nature of our gluttony.
(We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character)
We were entirely ready to have our loved ones remove all half eaten tubs of Rum and Raisin.
(We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings)
We humbly asked them to remove the Weightwatchers Toffee Caramel Sundaes, too.
(We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.)
We made a list of all persons whose share of Raspberry Ripple we had eaten, and became willing to make amends to them all.
(We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others)
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would encourage them to be total ice cream monsters, too.
(We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it)
We continued to take personal inventory and when we were caught buying a White Chocolate Magnum, promptly admitted it.
(We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out)
We sought through prayer and willpower to improve our conscious contact with the fruit section in the supermarket as we understood it, praying only for knowledge of its nutritional value for us and the power to make tempting fruit salads.
(Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs)
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps (cross fingers), we tried to carry this message to other Cornetto worshippers and to practice these principles at night time when we're having a film binge.
Do what I did - if you think it's becoming a problem, beyond your control, seek help with ICAA - or, a year from now, this could be you!!