Monday 26 March 2012
What's the diagnosis, Doc?
You’re no-one if you haven’t got a ‘syndrome’! And guess what? You can get pills to cure it!
You know how, in the past 15 years or so, people are no longer just a bit crap at spelling, but 'dyslexic'? Please note, I am not having a pop at people who are genuinely word blind, but those who, similarly, cannot accept that their child is just an undisciplined little monster who needs a firm hand, but in fact has ADFHDDTA, or some other 'syndrome' made up by psychiatrists in order to sell more highly addictive drugs to the NHS or, indeed, the individual (though that whole subject requires a rant of its own, and a much more serious and informed one than I am likely to put on here).
Right, you also know how some conditions/illnesses become 'fashionable'? For example, a couple of years ago the world and his wife were 'bi-polar'. Not just a bit depressed, and by nature highly strung.
I think I've just spotted the next one. You may have noticed how Alzheimers is a bit of a hot potato at the moment. Lots of research going into it, which is terrific. A lot more recognition for the sufferers and their carers, marvellous.
Lots of articles in the papers about it. Well, the other day I was on a bus and couldn't help but listen to a conversation behind me, which involved one woman telling her friend about her mother, who was a bit forgetful, and who, she thought, had 'a touch of Alzheimers'. She expanded on this and repeated her theory several times.
Please note, I am not being dismissive of the possibility of her mother actually HAVING this disease. But one can't have a 'touch of Alzheimers' in the way one can have a 'touch of indigestion'. Forgetting to put the rubbish out on a Friday morning, or not being able to find your glasses does not mean you have Alzheimers.
Maybe she was just pissed and had forgotten where she put them.
I apologise in advance if this offends anyone, and fully accept that I may need to be treated with strong medication for "Extreme Tolerance Deficiency". I bet that exists, too!
(oh, and ps – your sneezes, cough and muzzy head don’t mean you have a ‘touch of flu’. You’ve got a cold. If you had flu, which is short for influenza, you’d know about it)