Wednesday 14 August 2013

If the LITERARY GREATS and BEST SELLING AUTHORS were little known, self-published....

......and had to promote themselves on Twitter.....  Part Three!

Part One is HERE, and Part Two is HERE

Roald Dahl @Unexpected

Sees the short story as an art form
Also writes #kidlit @GiantPeach
Father to aspiring model @SophieDahl

Welsh/Norwegian.  Pretty unexpected, huh?

@Unexpected Just written story about bees & #royaljelly.  Having fantasy about Susan George starring in BBC adaptation, lol.

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Jerome K Jerome @ManInABoat

Writer of comedy and satire
Author of Amazon bestseller Three Men in a Boat, & more
Keen cyclist and boater
No DMs, please


@ManInABoat Can someone tell me what #steampunk is, and if I ought to be writing it, or indeed if I already am?  Lol!  :^D

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Louisa May Alcott @LittleWoman

Novelist.  Seamstress.  Governess

Concord, Mass.

@LittleWoman Yo Fellow 43 Million Beliebers! LITTLE WOMEN is #FREE on Amazon NOW! #4 in >Classics! #BYNR #MustRead

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Alan Bennett @TalkingHead

Northern working class oik done good
Self-confessed geek
Taurus.  Likes a good monologue.

Camden Town (with a bloke, okay?)

@TalkingHead New #blog post: Homosexuality and literature: it's not all about Kafka's Dick - or is it?'s_Dick #MondayBlogs #LGBT

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Lewis Carroll @SlithyTove

Writer of #fantasy and #kidlit
How do you know the Jabberwocky isn't real?


@SlithyTove Internet trolls getting snarky about my relationship with my niece.

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Lauren Weisberger @ManhattanGirl

Author of women's contemporary fiction
Debut novel out soon!
Based on my experience in the magazine industry
Watch this space!

Big Apple

@ManhattanGirl Urgh!  Stuck on title for debut novel!  What do my tweeps think about 'The Devil Wears Jimmy Choos'?  Please help! 

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

A.A.Milne @Poohsticks

Poet and children's author
Proud father
The wonderful thing about childhood ~
is that childhood's a wonderful thing

Cotchford Farm, Sussex

@Poohsticks Subscribe to @PigletTweet!!! Too lazy to tweet and retweet?  @Piglet will do it for you, the little dear - go on, indulge him!

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Hunter S Thompson @Gonzo

Journo.  Author.  Biker.  Anarchist 
I drink, I get drunk, what's the problem?
(Please note: I am not Johnny Depp)

@Gonzo Contributed tweets for @Gonzo are delivered by @SomeCrapApp because I am too drunk to tweet. #amunconscious

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Clive Staples Lewis @Tumnus

Essayist.  Theologian.  
Author of fantasy series 
The Chronicles of Narnia
for children and adults of all ages

In the wardrobe...

@Tumnus Think my failure to get published is due to parents naming me after office sundries. #Hmmph

~~~   ~~~   ~~~

Barbara Cartland @DianasGranny

Prolific author of romance novels
Any similarity to works by Georgette Heyer 
completely coincidental
Loves her pooch :)

Hatfield, Herts

@DianasGranny On the #blog this week: NaNoWriMo?  Pffft!  Amateurs!  I write a novel every afternoon!  #MondayBlogs

I hope you have enjoyed these..... 


  1. Brilliant, brilliant! I loved Jerome K Jerome and Lewis Carroll in particular.

    1. Yes, I think those two and CS Lewis are my favourites. Tho I rather like Roald Dahl fantasising about Susan George's tits, I have to say :)

  2. Brilliant again, Terry! I also liked JKJ but AA Milne too. @poohsticks! Love it!

  3. Loved them as usual, although I am nothing if not honest, and a few references were over my wee noggin! Took me back to Tales of the Unexpected and James and the Giant Peach. Love the Manolo Blahniks comment. They're all great to be honest. You do realise you are going to have to do Part 4. There are going to be more of these than Police Academy soon!

    1. THing is with these, the ones that make you laugh are usually the ones you've read! And to be honest I did have to look up Alan Bennett to be able to make a joke about one of his works (as there was much discussion about his sexuality a few years ago, Kafka'a Dick was a positive gift!). It's also why, I think, Enid Blyton has been the one most people have remarked upon, because her works are so widely known. When I did Douglas Kennedy in the first one, for instance, I realised that some wouldn't have heard of him and loads wouldn't have read him - but it's there to amuse the few who WILL have (especially Julia and me, really, I guess!). With Roald Dahl, I had recently seen the Tales of the Unexpected about the royal jelly, so it stuck in my mind... but I do try to keep the references 'non-book' in some cases, like with C S Lewis, and Barbara Cartland, who is famous for writing a novel every 3 weeks...!!!

    2. ps..... and, as I put at the top, the links in all the tweets do actually work!!!! The one that makes me laugh most of these is Jerome K Jerome - and I've only read Three Men in a Boat of his, so I kept it simple!!!!

  4. @StephenKing Imagine being tied up by ur psycho mother in law #misery #outtoday

    @Shakespeare did a book signing at a school but the students said they h8 my stories :(

    @EnidBlyton Aunt Fanny and Dick r great characters, no is not porn lol #FamousFive

    @GeorgeLucas Jar Jar Binks is a c@nt #fucktheforce

  5. Thank you for your contributions, Michael! I like to think that they would have been amongst the more literate of book tweeters, though!!! :) As for Enid Blyton, I think the joke's in the names, doesn't need explaining!!! Thanks for reading - yes, I could have done more with Stephen King, you're right :)

  6. Haha @LittleWoman as a belieber had me cracking up! Good stuff!

    1. Ha ha, thanks - well, I had to make someone a Belieber!!!

  7. I love the Twitter names you've chosen for them you may have noticed, I was struggling for ages to find one to suit me....wish I'd just asked you to choose one for me! We need more of these please :-)

  8. MORE???? I'll run out of authors...!!! Thanks xx

  9. Perhaps your readers could suggest some for you? x

    1. Suggest away, petal - half of these lot were from suggestions - always happy to hear them!!!

  10. What about Victor Hugo? Harper Lee? E Nesbit? Jules Verne? Have we had Oscar Wilde? *Need to go back and re-read*

  11. Thank you!!!! Written down on list :) (No, have considered Oscar Wilde before, then forgot, so thanks!)

  12. Only just found there - yeah yeah, should be writing - or sorting out stuff for Tenby Book fair - but couldn't resist - fabulous posts. cheers, Terry

    1. Ha ha! Thanks - and have a great time at the book fair! xx

  13. 'fantasy about Susan George starring in BBC adaptation.' Haha!! Love it :-D

    1. Yeah, I think I'd just seen it on telly before I did this post!